Saying Goodbye to Smoky

Smokey's Story from Hello to Goodbye and Hello Again

All About Smokey

It has been a month now since Smokey’s passing.  We have had many monsoon storms come and go without a sign of our beloved Russian Blue tom cat. OMG he wore many hats. He was the stray that jumped through my open bedroom window one night when I was crying.  He was my counselor and he had all the answers.  He did not bring me gifts of mice and baby squirrels like the others, he knew I was sensitive to those gifts.  Smokey asked me to fight for myself because he knew I was a pacifist.  He said in his “”purrfect” way: Stand your ground.

 I was grieving from his absence.  Many people were saying “he will be back’’ and my heart was disagreeing.  I was wondering why they said this to me when I knew better. I have been extra psychic for a long time now. It felt like false hope and pulling the wool over the eyes. I knew better.  I knew all Smokeys favorite spots.  When I called out, he would answer.  The silence was atypical as though he was in a drugged sleep beyond the Kuiper belt.  I was trying to process the heavy emotions of saying goodbye to my furry friend and family member.  I am a psychic and an animal communicator so it was eerie to me that I Smokey could be so gone.  Even deceased pets seem to animate and say hello.  No matter the confusion of listening to the perceptions of others, my eyes would not stop watering.  Quite honestly it kept old friends at bay as they were unable to offer condolences.

Cats can smile.  Smokey had a goofy smile, and he was trying his best to imitate the way humans smile.  All our neighbors would smile at Smokey because he would do his best to reciprocate although his smile looked a little bit like a grimace of some sort.  Smokey was once a stray, and my Spidey senses tell me he belonged to a trucker at one time.  He was the best travel cat in the world.  I knew for sure Smokey was a keeper when he jumped into the back seat of my car when I was moving.  He was a “purrfect” back seat passenger.  Our other pets needed crates.  Especially my little princess, Mimi.  I loved her but she whined the whole way on a trip.

Our first cat was Calico and we named her Rainbow.  She was the Alpha cat.  Our tortoise shell, Mimi, was smaller and a mix of insecure habits. All at once we had 5 cats including Smokey.  The neighbors had abandoned Mimi.  She was the biological sister of Rainbow.   We lived in a low rent area and the neighbor’s cat seemed to be constantly pregnant with a new liter.  That family did not have the money to fix their momma cat.  Looking back, I would have offered to take her and get her spayed.  Those neighbors moved.  We moved too.  The next apartment complex was ideal for cats.  There were tall fences and trees.  We fed Smokey but did not encourage him to stay in.  Mimi brought home another cat.  We called him Sammy.  He was cream colored and was affectionate with Mimi. There was a lady giving away kittens at the grocery store.  I should not have stopped because I had an instant attachment to a white cat with a small grey tiara marking on her head.  I had never seen such an adorable cat.  Lilly has her own story and so do they all.  I am just saying this is how easy it is to have a home full of cats.  Smokey was the enforcer.  He was very large and in charge.  He broke up fights between the sisters.  Sometimes he would sit on Mimi to calm her down.  At first, we did not think of adopting Smokey, and he would come and go.  In a short time, he became essential to our cat family.  He had the job of finding all the cats when it was time for dinner.  They say you cannot herd cats.  Smokey could find and herd all the cats indoors for dinner.  He became the peacekeeper when there were disagreements.  Smokey chose us as his family.  When he jumped in my car, I knew he was the smartest and most psychic cat ever.  Now when I call him, he is a universe away. 

My son Zachary said that Smokey had been saying goodbye for about two months.  We had him for 8 years and have no idea about his real age.  I would guess 12 years old.  He was in bad shape when he adopted us.  He was quite a scraper in the neighborhood.  I had fed him once or twice and one night he jumped through a window when I was crying and cuddled with me.  At first, I was scared because he was so big and muscular.  His eyes were intense and green as he communicated very clearly that he wanted to help me.  Smoky literally said words and understood words.  He always retained his autonomy after becoming our cat.  He would jump on me every night about 4 am and he would say “now” repeatedly until I woke up and let him out. He would return several hours later at 6 am when it was breakfast time.  We had a routine. Our neighbor always was outside having coffee before I woke up.  Smokey  would say his word for hello and smile.  The Neighbor, Reese, would knock on my door and I would let Smokey in.  Smokey had us all trained.

  The last night he did something different; he jumped on me but wanted me to pet him.  I was so sleepy, but I spent at least 20 minutes petting him.  He was sending me volumes of love.  I was seeing pictures and feelings and intense color around him.   He said in his own way, “I love you, I know you will miss me, I am a keeper, I am your eternal friend, I will not be far way.”  As I let him out, he turned around and looked at me one last time.  I got a lump in my throat.  Something was not usual with all this.  And two days later, I knew, for sure, he was gone. 

When the last storm came up, and he was not at our door soaking wet, wanting me to get a big fluffy towel and dry him off, it was solid and sure.  Smoky did say goodbye that last time.

Recently, we heard him and felt him around us and Mimi was starting to see him too. She had been very depressed at first.  I think she was playing with Smokey last night, there was lots of commotion in the living room. 

Yeah, so I took it hard.  I don’t know when I have cried more and felt so blue.  The whole neighborhood loved Smokey.   And I can testify that cats do go off to die when they are ready.  I have heard a dozen stories now.  It is hard to tell if a cat is in pain, all I know is Smokey did have a significant illness. The vet called it “feline aids virus” and he hung in there for many years.  The thing that really gets me is how close he was to Source energy that last night.  He was rather elated about going home or transitioning.  That is a big clue that he had not been feeling well for a couple of months prior to this.  He tried to be there for us, but it was time. It was like a female in labor, something was happening for him, like a force of nature.

It does not end here.  This was my sappy ending, but I had a dream last night. (December 2025)  I was holding a Russian Blue Kitten.  I have no pets currently.  One by One we have said goodbye to all of our cat family.  They all have a place in my heart. They will have an eternity, and I will see them again.  I just want to watch adds for a Blue Russian kitten.  It would have to be a boy.  I would have to see all those colors around him and feel his intensity.  But, it feels sure that we will meet again sooner than my transition.  Another good Christmas Miracle.