Chapter 20: It Is Not God's Fault

I, Sara, have come to witness many odd anomalies in life, and they are the unexpected accidents and unexpected triumphs in the lives of those who seek my counsel.  In all instances I clearly acknowledge destiny and it is not God’s Fault.  Neither the blame nor the glory seems to fit.

I have experienced several near-death events in my now long life. When my foot slipped off a boulder on a cliff, when a shotgun was aimed at my stomach, when there was an anesthesia problem, and I dove into the shallow part of a pool, each time my life was saved and completely saved. When I say completely, I mean no serious injury happened. Except some scratches from the thorn bush that caught me by the seat of my pants during an almost fatal fall, there were few minor injuries.  Since I did a back flip into shallow water, I had one heck of a headache and a goose bump on my forehead.  I looked like a unicorn and left a pool party early.  I must say I have done some “stupid” stuff in my life and a miracle has happened each time. There must be a few more cringe worthy happenings but I will just say I have been incredibly lucky most of the time.

When I had a scary car accident recently, it was amazing.  I was driving along Northern Ave obeying every rule of safe driving when a car came out of nowhere.  The driver was making a left into Star Bucks after several far-left drivers let him enter.  It can be a longer story but, this incident totaled my car and I was quite sore. There were no broken bones and again not too serious. As far as extremely bad incidents go; Nothing compares to the phone call I received on a Saturday in July.  A social worker called to tell me my son had died and was found in his apartment. After that call, all my other problems and complaints seemed ridiculously small.  That call was the dragon that almost slayed me, and I did not think I could go on. To this day, I cannot imagine why my beautiful 27-year-old had left this world. He was happy, healthy, and it was not suicide. He was planning on coming to visit me in Phoenix and his voice message was one of sunshine and optimism. That message got played a thousand times and the one thing I do know is that:  It Was Not God’s Fault.   

If not God, then who is there to blame? Energy, pre life contracts, personal growth for a few starters. Energy is all around us. The most significant energy is like a radio signal from our consciousness. Our being is like a super magnet.  I happen to be a physical medium. Things happen around me all the time.  Objects move without anyone touching them.  I was eating dinner with 4 famous mediums from out of town.  One of our mutual friends had just died of a heart attack. It was just like Lou was sitting at the table. My fork lifted about an inch or two off my dinner plate and then dropped with a clang. My hands were busy in the air as I tend to talk with my hands.  Earlier that day I would find my locked front door standing wide open. I think the fork hitting my plate demonstrated to all present just what energy can do.  My energy, their energy, all of our energies including unseen energy.  

More importantly, words and beliefs hold energy.  When I work with clients using cognitive behavioral therapy, I am looking at core beliefs that might be allowing certain horrible things to happen to them. These are some of the most prevalent beliefs:  I don’t deserve happiness, mom said I would never amount to anything, my minister told me I was going to burn in hell for that terrible thing I did, and God must hate me for allowing this to happen. I often hear people say:  I am waiting to know what God wants me to do with my life. I must say that is so much decision levied upon God and it is believed that This All That There Is Being, and Creator gave us free will? I wonder why we humans would be given free will and then punished for bad choices after we die?  These are the questions that would be processed during any counseling session regarding choices and destiny.  I will jump to the punch line because it would take six years and them some more months to debate this subject.  Humans get the privilege of learning and experiencing a self-directed course. For artists of all types it is like the finished sculpture, the opera and the applause when the curtain falls all in one triumphant symphony. Humans get to be the writer, actor and director as well as the audience and it is extremely fulfilling.  But what about those awful events in our lives? Where is that explanation of why bad things happen to good people? 

I will return to my son’s death, but he is not at all dead, just more energy at a higher frequency. It is not like I can have lunch with him, and I miss him a great deal.  When I was severely depressed, I felt like God was punishing me.  I also felt guilty for his death. I felt angry and wanted to blame someone.  I ran through all those cognitions we speak of in therapy.  I would brighten up and receive some answers.  and then hit a slump in my development and I would be engulfed in these horror stories again. I am doing OK now.  The answer that finally stuck with me was this; I charted a course for myself that had the design of increased love and awareness at its end.  In truth there are many exit points during a lifetime.  At each fork in our road we chose left or right.  I could have died several times as I mentioned already.  My son could have died several times too.  He drove far too fast and had totaled his car several times.  Jason got a hall pass in a way.  He got to leave this world early.  It is a decision that he made with God’s approval, to exit early on.  I did not have a voice in that decision.  I was not happy about that, but that is between Jason and his Creator. 

 As I have mentioned in many posts and blogs, Jason always remembers Mother’s Day.  Each year after Jason’s death I have received a beautiful card placed on my bed.  It has his signature. At first, I thought his brother might be doing this as a kind gesture. No that is not it.  Zac is not a prankster like that. We have talked. The card is always different each year.  The message is also different each year.  There is no point in trying to prove this evidence or ague a case.  There have been volumes of paranormal events in our lives with Jason’s wit and insight and signature energy all over them.  Life continues after the event we call death.  Love does not die, and it is the one thing we take with us beyond the grave.

I have quoted Neale Donald Walsch over the years.  He is famous for many reasons. He wrote the New York Times best seller, Conversations with God, and the subsequent books thereafter. Neale does a great job of exploring who and what God is.  There are many concepts about God.  When Neale was interviewed about God, the television host asked him to sum up God in five words.  Neale said, “You Have Got Me Wrong”.  There are roman gods and pagan gods who seem to meddle in our lives and decide when we should die and when we should have a victory.  There are not enough pages in any book to go over the many faces, names, and beliefs about what and who God is.  There are as many versions as there are people.  Infinite.

 Please do pick up a copy of Neale’s famous discourse.  When I was grieving over the loss of my son, those books are so much a credit to my survival. Neale also has said this.  Jesus prays the Lords Prayer with the congregation, and it begins “our father”.  There is a relationship between us humans and God.  It is closest to a parental relationship.  Would a loving parent send you to hell for a mistake? Can you imagine any parent damming you for all eternity?  Remember Jesus telling us the parable of the prodigal son?  We are precious to God. When we become open to that God reunion there is a celebration and trumpeting angels can be heard.

 There are certain concepts that seem to be universal between all religions. God is loving and cares about us. During my near-death experiences I was amazed by the profound love and enduring relationship I had with God on the other side of my life.  It was like a long lost loved one had returned to me with all the love my heart could hold.  It made the loneliness and sorrow vanish.  God made me a promise and a commandment before returning me to my physical body lying on the gurney, Ask me for help. I am there (on earth) just as much as I am in heaven.  Those are the words I remember.  My time is not done.  I came back here and there is more work to do. 

This discussion could be on going.  My relationship with my Creator is growing and evolving all the time.  I honor the chance to tell my story and to help others realize the power they really have.  You get to decide.  

please visit my website too. click