Chapter 19: Why Are We Here?

 

  

There are existential questions that everyone asks once they are at an age of reasoning.  Kids do sometimes think about these types of questions too.  Kids also ponder higher order questions all the time. Zak was a depressed 7-year-old.  My son was remembering dying in a war.  He felt that life was short and meaningless and that he would be dying once again when he reached adulthood.  That was his cognition about life.  It was all pointless.  I am the mom, and I was surprised to hear this belief of his.  I am glad he shared because then we could start to confront these beliefs and create a new reality.  That is called cognitive restructuring.  Sounds so fancy for a very simple construct or concept. 

It is human to have questions.  Why are we here? 

I decided to take a crack at it.  Why not?  There are drips and drabs of this basic inquiry in past blogs.  I just never hit it head on. 

 The humanist psychologists were asking all the right questions.  Maslow started looking at highly successful people and then asked them what motivated them. What makes people happy?  It seems the pursuit of happiness is part of our purpose.

  Carl Rogers was also a humanist psychologist.  He looked at humans as having an internal map of guidance.  We are not born a blank slate that someone must mold.  I worked as a play therapist at an elementary school.  Kids had preferences and goals already in place. Children do experience frustration at being forced to do those things that do not appeal to them.  Adults feel that as well.  So how did our consciousness already exist within the very small humans I worked with?  

The behaviorists were more about molding human behavior.  Unfortunately, they did not consider other strong human motivators.  For instance: I like eating breakfast and I feel more energetic when I do.  I am listening to my body and avoiding the consequence of hunger.  Behaviorists work with using consequences or punishments as a way of changing behaviors.  I would totally ignore breakfast if a loved one was having an emergency.  My son woke me up at 5 AM stating that he had swallowed a whole bottle of pills and now regretted it.  Without coffee or even dressing better we headed to the emergency room.  I am not a morning person.  The behaviorists did not think of higher motivations that take precedents over other needs. 

                                  Beck and the Dali Lama
  

Cognitions or beliefs were the stimulus of behavior according to Aaron Beck.  If someone believes everyone is out to get them, they probably stay home quite a bit.  I was reading that Beck is still alive.  This famous psychologist is 100 years old so he must be doing something right. Beck gave the psychology field many ways of measuring depression and suicide.  No other tests have replaced the Beck inventories.

  Since Freud was looking at pathology or what is “wrong” with the patient, the humanists were saying what is going right?  So, all these men were trying to study humans and bring forth a common language that will define our motives and behavior.

Maslow was defining why someone would be a starving artist? Ah, and he would say they have ignored the basic need for food to learn and express and evolve.  Starving artists are expressing the need for self-actualization.  He also felt that expressing the creative and humoristic sides of language demonstrate the pinnacle of self-awareness.  Abe Maslow is known as the creator of the hierarchy of needs.  Needs can jump around and not stay in a certain order. Some needs give way to other urgent situations.  

It is wonderful that some of our greatest minds have tried to answer this existential question.  I don’t have to start from scratch.  Psychology has done a great job of creating language.  That separates the novice from the expert.  The language. 

Concepts have existed since man started developing religion, community, healing rituals, the study of astronomy and geography, and many other endeavors like building castles. Geography is significant when deciding where the edge of the earth is.  Then Columbus “discovered” America. That continent was always there and inhabited by humans, so Columbus did not really discover it.   Concepts like the afterlife were especially significant too.  Whether it is the contents of the Egyptian Book of the Dead, or the Three fates and the river Styx, what happens after one is dead, is very important. There are many ideas about what happens.  Now we have near death experiences.  Medicine has been able to rescue people from the river Styx and they live to talk about it.  Death might not be the spooky subject it was to our ancestors.  IANDS has done surveys that suggest 15% of adults have experienced near death and had experiences to share about this subject.  There was Lazarus whom Jesus raised from the dead.  That was a huge event, and it did convince many of the Jewish people that Jesus was the Messiah. Lazarus might have seen the tunnel and deceased loved ones, but he is not reported with saying anything about it. 

 

If we are asking about this life and its purpose, then to me it seems that those with near death experiences are in a unique position to answer some questions.   From what they say, there is a life review for everyone.   The review is kinder than “judgement”.   From all the experiences in one’s life, some were critical and taught the life reviewer a profound lesson.   It seems that we live on earth to learn certain things. Each evaluated experience is unique to the experiencer.  Edgar Cayce reviewed lifetimes and would say, they gained this much awareness and they depreciated in some ways too.  It reads somewhat like they gained two steps and took one back. 

There is an excellent book by Cayce https://www.amazon.com/Edgar-Cayce-Meaning-Life-About-ebook/dp/B07L7GF3HH and I am reading that one right now.

I have read a thousand near death experiences and I am never bored with the accounts.  I have noticed that when being reviewed, the experiences of great significance were those of human love relationships.  Love of parents, children, siblings, and spouses as well as good friends all hold poignant realizations in the review.  It is said that some of the accolades, plaques, and certificates hold very little value in a life review.  If nothing else, it seems that the afterlife stories show us what was important and worth celebrating about our adventures in the earth realm.   Simply stated it appears we were learning about love of all types.  In the end, it was a deeper grasp of love that we took with us beyond the grave or river Styx.  This is the treasure that is incorruptible.

Why are we here seems to hint at life purpose?  Our purpose might also exalt a group of people.  Humans have always done better in tribes or villages.  Jane Roberts and other psychic channelers seem to indicate that there are soul groups.   I have a dream of a very happy lifetime as an Islander.   I visited Maui and was almost unable to leave.  I also visited a castle ruin in Scotland and could not bare myself to leave.  As an islander, I remember knowing the concept of family and being a part of something larger than myself.   Now in these days it seems that we are unconcerned about the welfare of others.  Not all of us but there are many out there who have narcistic tendencies.  Let me just say that perhaps all the extended family on my island were my soul group.  As we expired and sloughed off our earth body, we had to make the decision. Collectively there was a decision to expand and live elsewhere or come back as the “Great Grandmother” guide for our village.  It is now apparent to me that many of my soul group are not on earth or even in this solar system at the same time I am.  There is the ever-expanding consciousness of the entire group to consider.  In this concept it is not just “why am I here” but why is my group here”.   This is where another concept begins. 

Evolving consciousness of our planet and our solar system.  This is where I recommend Neale Walsh’s trilogy “Conversations with God”.  God is experiencing life and growing through us.  Neale speaks of highly advanced societies.  They might not be from earth, but some are.  We seem primitive and backwards to some of the neighbors in this galaxy and beyond.  Some ETs are like family and some are not as each group has its own agenda.  There is a whole new study in exopolitics for us the humans.  How do we treat other cultures and advanced societies?  Now there is an intersection between (why are we here), and who is coming to dinner. 

As this question seems to naturally expand, I remember watching a video on Gaia TV Called the Café at the End of the Universe with Jerry Wills https://www.gaia.com/share/cksxx4ed800nk0ipacvd1eh9j?language[]=en&utm_source=share I can share a limited amount of material from that site.  It is worth joining.  In the café Jerry is able to have big discussions with ETs from all over.  These beings gather on occasion to share knowledge.  There is a built-in ability to communicate by way of telepathic means.

This discussion on why we are here grows and has no real end.  Dr. Peebles, a disincarnate guide, once said that your purpose can grow and be whatever you like.   Michelle Pfeiffer once said, she was just trying to be the best cashier she could be when she was discovered.  As doors opened to better more challenging movie parts, she continued to expand and grow in her purpose and her craft.  Donald Trump just wanted to build the best skyscraper in New York, and he kept taking steps towards bigger realizations.  Saint Francis of Assisi probably never thought as a young man he would become a saint. It has been said that all the roads you choose lead to the path you were meant to walk.  Abraham/Hicks has said, just wait for inspiration to take the next step or journey.   It seems to be a day to day unfolding and journey we take with us beyond this physical lifetime.  This question of why we are here just keeps on growing with you.  It should be a fun ever expanding learning of things.  

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 28: Blue Kaku Two

 

As a child I had a stuffed blue bunny, and he knew everything. He talked me to sleep and was a great comfort.  Both my kids had encounters with childlike dwarf beings.  Star Boy and Blue Dwarfs would park on the roof much like Santa Clause.  They would turn on all the toys at once, the T.V. as well as the Fisher-Price turn table. I will clarify that we did not touch these toys. There was some sort of magnetic energy present that did turn all these battery operated and AC/DC operated devices on.  

These beings would put on little dances and plays for Zak. I know this because Zak told me about it when he was 4 years old. Our home was like Grand Central Station for the paranormal.  There was no shortage of variety and types of visitors,  We had departed president’s visit our smallish two-bedroom apartment: Mainly, Abraham Lincoln, JFK, Theodor Roosevelt, and John Quincy Adams.  We had Native Americans, Red Arrow and White Buffalo and their tribe members who entertained us with drumming circles.  We had Great Grandparents and I believe we also had Abe’s mother, Nancy Lincoln at times.  St. Francis being was oft present and Famous comedians too. Many of these spirits or energies would show up and leave without saying a word to me.  They seemed to be checking in on me and the kids.  Coming home one night we saw a blue light on our second story roof, and it was a signal that there were ET beings awaiting us.  I don't want to repeat past stories so I will share some links.   

Omg I have several blogs about ET’s and my favorite is https://angelbell444.blogspot.com/2018/09/chapter-four-sps-co-existence-melinda.html and please do read it.  Coexistence is all about becoming more conscious.  Our universe is expanding, and it is time to meet the neighbors.  That means becoming much more psychic. I had an experience yesterday where I was able to speak several different languages. I would see a book open with the vocabulary I needed to create meaningful dialogue with others. The best teachers of communication skills would be the little blue dwarfs.   They remind me of the Ewoks; But not exactly because they have blue leather skin.  Whitley Strieber has them wearing hoods.  They do walk like Ewoks, and they have so many skills that I would miss a hundred if I tried to list them all.  They have amazing healing ability, and I am sure that is why both Zak and I still exist. 

Blue Kaku Healing went something like this.

I did feel guided to eat a certain way.  I have done some other chapters dealing with healing remedies.  I like Dr. Wallach’s products and of course Edgar Cayce Remedies.  After barely surviving the toxic black mold in my home (2012 Sedona) I had serious issues and developed type 2 diabetes.  The blue dwarf people showed up when I was on deaths door and saved me.  I was staying with a friend, and they also woke her up and said that they would heal her too.  They have healing methods that seem to be frequency adjusters.  If I get run down, I remember to drink those green drinks my friend made.  Healing is all about energy.  Remember how Jesus healed people?  He could change their energy to quickly balance the disease.  I have had energy work done but the root of my problem was the trauma in my childhood. If I was holding on to past trauma the shift in energy would not suffice. I had to correct those patterns of thought. It is better that I do not stay in that memory. I would feel weak in that state of mind.   I had to learn to allow a greater current of energy to run through me.  Trauma tends to shut down the self-healing that we all need.   When I counsel people, I look for beliefs that would keep them stuck in poor mental and physical health. I see that belief and then go right to work changing it. 

Both mental and physical health require knowing that you are a child of God.  There is free will and we must be asking for help when we need it.  Recently, I have been asking God for healing in the mornings before I get up.  It makes a world of difference. The problem for me is keeping that level of energy as the day goes by.  So now there is a new device for me.  I do mindfulness check ins.  I might notice some energy bleeding.  It is just like having blood coming out of a cut on your body.  If I have been injured in word or deed I ask to repair immediately.  Repairing takes a great deal of focus for me.  I am changing a belief and I am changing the energy.  Each time I do this work, I become more resilient.  My little Blue Friend was named Blue Kaku by me.  I am sure his type has a name but I am not at all sure what it is.  

Blue Kaku knows how to party.  Having friends over is just what the doctor ordered sometimes.  I find it hard to believe that some people do not know how to have fun without substances.   Good food and friends are all that is required. When we were broke it would be popcorn and Kool-Aid.  Well, now they say Kool-Aid is not healthy.   There are other drinks like iced tea with lemon that would be better. Inexpensive parties can happen on a dime and with a little magic. Board games and card games can happen easily enough.   Get some cheap thrills by sitting  in a circle and pass stories.  That was our favorite thing ever.  You might need an oven timer or just have someone watch the clock.  Each person gets to talk for 3 minutes before passing the story to the next person.  These stories would turn out to be silly, adventurous, fanciful, and sure to produce some giggles.  It is fun to have a prize for the best storyteller. The Blue Kaku would never have a day go by without giggles.  Laughter is the best medicine. 

Zak and I are down to just us two.  Each morning we have coffee chat.  Zak will share dreams sometimes and I try to share news stories or a recap of something I read.  Good book reports work.  Today Zak shared about Blue Kaku showing up as a dwarf in silver.  Apparently, he kept shape shifting.   Zak used to create stories and just send them out on the internet.  He wrote one about Konda.  Konda was a reptilian who wore a purple hooded robe.  He was a peaceful reptilian and was a priest.  We discovered that someone had drawn a picture of him and that was a great moment.  We knew that he existed, and others knew that he existed as well.  Let me see If I can find that picture.

Good Artist.  He has that ridge down the middle of his head. 

I have a blog about the blue dwarf my son saw at age 7. 

https://angelbell444.blogspot.com/2012/10/touched-by-dwarf-blue-alien.html

I found the following photo of a blue dwarf alien.  This one is probably someone dressed up as a blue dwarf alien.  There are others if I can find them. 

We credit these beings with being there in a good way for our family. 

Chapter 15: Opening That Closed Door. About My Near-Death Experience

 God: Nancy you closed the door.

 ME:  I did?  How?

After about 70 years of life, many answers have shown up and of course I want to share them.  Near Death Experiences happen to millions or billons of people.  I don’t even feel special about having a NDE and yet it was a big event for me.  It was life changing. My title says more about my NDE because many of the questions I have about God and my conversation with God have evolved over time.  I have written before about my experience and I apologize to those who might be saying “oh, no, she is not going to tell this again”.  I am telling parts of it again with a twist.

I was listening to a new personality on You Tube.  His name is Phil Good.  I was so impressed with the depth of his presentation.  I have been listening to other channelers and I am grateful to them all.  Phil is channeling but he does not change personalities and speak differently.  He remains conscious and complete in his discussion.  Phil was speaking of the Ego getting in our way.  His discussion was about tuning into the higher resonance and letting it steer your course.  We all have an internal GPS system.

Phil said that it is our ego that gets in the way and closes the door to God. It has taken me forever to realize that is what closes the door. It doesn’t matter if someone claims to be an atheist.  Most atheist think that they are more intelligent than their faith believer friends.  Before we knew the words God and Atheist, we were aware of our magnificent all-knowing parent at our birth.  Then religion showed up in our lives. God sat on a throne and looked a certain way and only let some people of a certain religion into heaven.  Another version is that God is the basic intelligence behind all life and is out in space observing the results of the big bang as it unfolds.  Another version is that God is Mother Earth and takes on a female form during deity worship.  So many disagreements occur over who is right.  There are so many versions, and they may all have some of the essence of God.  

After my NDE I believe the light I saw in all things is Source and yet He/She/It is as close and intimate as your lover. He is as proud as the Scottish Grandfather or Seanair and as huggable as the Grandmother Earth. They grin from ear to ear like a Cheshire Cat when you get it right and things are going well.  They laugh like the thunder of Indra when you are in on the joke.  God has many names and many hats.  So relax and know that whether or not you believe it, That ancient love of you exists.

There is a blog I wrote called Snap Shots of God.  I cover more about the concepts of God there.  

Going back to Phil Good. He said that we are not here to merely survive but to have an exceptional life.  I could not agree more.  Through emotions we navigate life.  Emotions are energetic manifestation that lead us to those steps that will reveal our next higher self. Imagine a shellfish that keeps growing and expanding and sloughing off old shells. There is a challenge to become emotionally intelligent.  Many people try to avoid emotions all together.  Some emotions are uncomfortable.  With emotional realization you can reclaim the you that you got cut off from.  Emotions will be another chapter so not to worry.  I will cover this thoroughly.  I love emotions.

The Elevator Story of My NDE.  Just so you know, an elevator story is a short version of a critical event in your life.  It should only take a few moments to tell a stranger on the elevator the story before you must get off on your floor.  

About 40 years ago I had a D and C surgical procedure.  It is a minor surgery, so I was not worried.  When anesthesia is administered any number of things can go wrong.  There are variables with how our bodies respond to anesthesia.   I was not coming back to my body in the recovery room.  I could here the nurse calling my name and I just wanted to tell her to quit calling my name.  I was having a very important conversation with God.  I was telling God that I did not want to come back to my life and I was quite upset.  I had found joy, freedom, and unconditional love in the arms of Source.  I recognized God’s voice and I was reunited with a long lost loved one.  It felt very harsh to have to return to my body and present life.  I was a wife and a parent, and my duty would be to return and care for my loved ones. That would seem obvious, but it was not obvious.  I had been living my life on empty and the love I offered was not a full-bodied love.  The life I was living was the life of a prisoner of war with little hope of finding freedom.  Those who knew me back then would probably agree.  I was not the one you would want to invite to a party.  I lived in a dysthymic state of existence.  So I did go back, but was there free will in returning to this now Nancy existence?

 God was able to convince me that I would prefer this.  My soul contract would benefit greatly by returning.   I was told that this life was a gift and a golden opportunity for me.  To Segway: That was the problem with suicide.  I was not committing suicide but indirectly I was committing suicide.  Many people carelessly do not honor their bodies.  They smoke and drink and eat bad processed food.   They seem to welcome getting to the end and being able to say goodbye to an unsatisfactory life.   I lived life according to the terms and conditions of others.  They are not creating their lives but accepting and settling for what selfish other’s have deemed correct and even appropriate. (Just look at that evil person Meghan Markle) It is a shallow and watered-down existence that others convince you of living.  I had so much to be grateful for.  We had a new home with a lovely back yard for the boys.   The boys were healthy and beautiful, and I was healthy and beautiful.   I will include a real picture.  My youngest was about a year old.

I am in the middle with the red turtleneck on and my very handsome husband is holding our two boys.  The others are friends who were seeing us off to Scotland.  How many blessings does one girl need?  I was lucky.  

Here is another picture of me and Zak.  Below.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.   I see us all as gorgeous and yet, it was effortless and not appreciated.  We were gifted with a golden opportunity. In a blinking of an eye it vanished.  I am growing older. I have that 20/20 eyesight. Today would mark the 40 years it took to see this better.  I return from my commentary to this day 40 years ago.

Back to the day of this NDE and the nurse who is still relentlessly calling my name and I am trying to not listen.  I am still speaking with God and doing my best sells pitch to remain in heaven with My Father/Mother All That Is.  Nothing else even come close to mattering.  Just look at those little boys. That should and would do it, right?  I remember saying to God, “I don’t want to leave you”.  With that God replied, But I am there (on earth) with you.  I am there too and all you need to do is ask for me.  God continued, I was always with you, Nancy.  You are the one who closed the door between us.

With that comment I returned to the recovery room.  The nurse was glowing. She had a halo.  I mentioned how lovely she looked.  She seemed to be having an awkward moment accepting that.  She was gorgeous just standing there without makeup in a surgical gown.  I felt like a starving artist that just had been treated to a Thanksgiving dinner with pecan pie for dessert.  I was full to the brim with love and appreciation.

That feeling lasted for about another week.  All my houseplants had halos, and everyone seem so incredible.  I had the gift of seeing the inner being or authentic self of all other people. That authentic self was better than whipped cream. Yummy.  I saw the light of God in all living things. 

Some of that honeymoon feeling wore off. I returned to everyday life, and I also returned to some not good habits of thought. Someone would be unkind or insulting to me and I would fall to the frequency of old patterns and old realizations.  The climb towards awareness is like building a stone road up a hill.  You can’t jump ahead but God does give us encouragement.  Sometimes terrible things would happen. I would start to go into a deep depression and then remember that God had made a promise to me.  All I needed to do was ask for help.   I found that help would always show up.  It seems that I could fret and wonder and then, it was there.   It was obvious that I needed a bit of patience and faith. 

 I started reading the NDE’s of others. I wanted to remember that feeling once again. Some NDE’s left me uninspired, and others brought back the amazing experience that is so hard to describe. Many experiencers mentioned having a feeling of home sickness. That is this feeling that earth is like summer camp.  We have something to learn or accomplish and we also are here to enjoy life and create memories.  Then we return to our real home.  Many experiencers mentioned they no longer were afraid of death.  That is also true for me. My bags are packed, and I am ready to go. I am trying to meditate every day.  Reconnecting with that love and joy is important to living the life I would like to be living.  Someone once said, “you don’t have to die to go to heaven and you don’t have to die to be in hell”.  Both of those places are not determined by circumstances but by perception.  They are states of mind.  To be in heaven you only need to open your heart to that Power that Creates Worlds.  Partner up with the Creator.

Just to sum up what Phil Good was saying:  Ego is the attention we have for those sparkly things in life.  Each day is full of those things that grab our attention.  Ego is listening to those harmful messages that are all about judgement.   We are either putting ourselves up or down compared to someone else.  There will always be comparisons.  Others are taller, shorter, rounder, thinner, smarter, dumber, less educated, less satisfied with their love life or more satisfied.  There is a very long list with comparisons. We are so distracted with things that just don’t matter.   To make it more personal: I was dysthymic most of the time.  All I needed was to connect with my Higher Self and have unconditional love for myself and others.  That one sentence seems easy but getting past the ego takes a great deal of focus.