ASMR and the Importance of Non Sexual Pleasure

Non Sexual Pleasure, ASMR and Well-being

I was going to call this the best kept female secret.  I briefly thought of calling it Vagina Speak.  Much too brash and loud. Vagina's don't talk...so a name like Vagina Monologues turns me the other way.  It is too blatant and to out there for real female discussion.  If we were going to have one of those girl talks among best friends, we would begin speaking euphemistically of our personal discoveries.  We would speak with high respect of the magic that comes with sexual exploration.  If the discussion was done with the right decorum, I don't think blushing or shame would prevent us from telling our secrets.  I believe these discussions are held sacred among women and for a very good reason.  Abuse, control. manipulation of women and their bodies, is historically what occurs.  I think there is ample documentation of that.  

Is there female manipulation of men? Oh, of course.  John the Baptist died due to that.  It is a pretty strong hate and revenge that would lead a mother to trade her daughters virginity for the head of someone.  It happens.  Females who learn what triggers males are certainly at an advantage and vice verse.

There is no manual or how to book that really tells the story holistically.  True sexual education is not about our plumbing.  Masters and Johnson's novel studies, were the tip of the iceberg.  How wonderful (the Masters and Johnson research) to debunk the myths of thousands of years.  I am so proud of these researchers because they, like Freud, were pioneers into a much needed area of understanding.  This has been so taboo and it so needs to be treated differently, honestly, and with total respect for something that is a gift of life and bonding.  We will learn more about our anatomy, reactions and physiology....

But….

The hitch is this:  The non sexual acquisition of pleasure.  This is where the medical model, science, religion, and history all collide.  We have been trained away from most types of pleasure by the edicts  of religion and moral authorities.  Quite sadly too.  ( I am convinced that humans have been brainwashed for the millennium to be servants to others) Sure the two of the ¨deadly sins¨ are gluttony, and lust. They occur in an imbalance, and part of that is the closeted treatment of what would really be good for us. Watch a kid make mud pies...too bad we grow up.

The sexual hormones in humans are too prominent to ignore and thus our survival as a species is insured. I believe some would call the non sexual pleasure between humans ¨foreplay¨.  Well, it can be that.  But I decided to make a somewhat bullet-ed list of human contact pleasure that is not sexual and the goal is not delayed orgasm.  I remember stepping in the shower with my six month old...water not as hot as usual and having the best time with bubbles and laughter.  In fact I did everything wrong as a Mom.  I breastfed in bed with my newborn and fell asleep with him in my queen size bed.  It would have been impossible to roll over on him...every subconscious part of me knew that he was there.  Even in a coma I would not have accidentally squished him.  We started showering together up until about age two.  I probably have some taboo about him getting older and maybe that is good? (too much hysteria about all that incest stuff) It could never happen. That is such a sick symptom of being estranged from our true bonds and humanness. What ugly thoughts we think sometimes.

 As a Mom I found it hard to find the time alone to take long, luxurious baths, and that is one of my little pleasures.  Showing with an infant is a very practical way to get clean and it was a bonding experience as well.  Bathing works well too.  Going on walks and smelling leaves and flowers is a marvelous discovery with little ones too.  I remember nature walks with my father as being some of the best quality time when I was little.  He made time for me, and it was not hurried or cut off.  So, I am offering a list of non sexual pleasures.

Why?  Without this part I don't think true intimacy even begins to happen.  I think we remain balled up and living with stress and isolation and that is contrary to our emotional well being.  It is a great heyday for the pharmaceutical industry.  They continue to sell ¨happy¨ pills and make trillions of dollars.  Maybe these simple human well being techniques need to be closeted to allow the mega rich to stay rich?  Oh, Good Grief...no.  It is a great non sexual pleasure of mine to write...and share...and care.  For that is human to the core of us.  Our core is peaceful and loving...and well we might be trained in soldiering...I think that might be the agenda of snakes.

Pleasure of a non sexual type should be encouraged.

mutual massage,  brushing hair,  bathing, feeding each other, finger painting, ASMR on You Tube, art and sculpture, grooming each other, music, creating music together, listening to music together,

 friendly contact sports, hugging, singing together, face to face conversation,  encouraging laughter, or joke telling, sightseeing as a group, story telling around a camp fire, water play, water slides, snow play, sledding,  exploring aromas or aroma therapy.  Nature walks for discovery of taste, texture and smells.  Bring all the senses on board.  tickling, velvet, silk pajamas, bouncing, sun bathing, back scratching, smearing pudding on your face….LOL.  

There are dozens of feelings and experiences not included here.  It is a long and growing list.

I started my own little book just about my pleasure discoveries.  And guys, stop being so macho, and definitely get into your feeling side.  You will live longer and love better.

Oh and humor helps too.

Jumping into a pile of Moon Money

Yes it all flows together, the moon, money and me.  Zac is such an artist and created some moon money one time.  I think that is borrowed from a game.  It is possible to attract large amounts of money into your life, yes(!), the real spendable kind.  It is always best not to be too desperate. Sometimes that is the hard part. I do know. This is where my guides tell me to trust. Trust that the Universe sees you, knows you. Fear seems to create an obstacle that is not easy to explain. Your flow of energy needs to be playful and relaxed. I get tested on this all the time, and I admit to not passing this at every turn. I am getting better.

I have been listening to the Abrahamster stuff and doing a few personal experiments.  I imagine all the many tokens of abundance finding me easily.  It is really more than that.  Abe/Hicks states that having passion and joy creates a magical attraction of abundance in your life.  Just being more engaged in happiness will draw the right people and phenomena of money to you.  Remember the part in Avatar (2009 film) where the little seeds all land on Jake.  His heart is attracting them and he can't even brush them away.  That is called vibrational currency.  That type of energy can lead to playful and significant real dollar amassing.

The reason for today's post is this. I Love doing psychic readings. Link to that site: Angel Bells Hangout.  I meet the most amazing people and when I read for someone else, it always seems to answer one of my own questions as well. Amazing how that happens.  I Did a phone reading last night for an adorable person. This person was telling me that they work from home as a billing entrepreneur. She was feeling isolated and also worrying about bills. There was no real sparkle in her life. I scanned her in my assessing easy way. My guides showed me pictures of her being a gourmet cook and enjoying that. They showed me her grooming cute little dogs. And I saw her doing the country swing at a local country western night club. Three things that add some zest and sparkle to her life. She validated all three things, loves C & W music and dancing, loves to cook for others, loves animals and was a dog sitter at one time. I said, sometimes our passion can lead to money. I saw some creative ways to turn these hobbies and interests into money and it would get her out of the house. She closed that door quickly...saying will I will do my bookkeeping to pay the bills and then I might do some of those things. ¨Oh no, don't wait¨ I exclaimed.  Don't go back to isolating and being in a gloomy closet.

I tried to explain that she had it backwards with the flow of money. She would become a magnet for dollars by enjoying what she does and adding some enthusiasm to her life. It is hard to explain that concept to someone trained in thinking in ¨practical ways¨. We have so much of that programming embedded in us from well meaning others. Clearing this could take time but it doesn't have to. Her present paradigm was not working well anyway..thus she asked for a reading with this moon crazed moon child psychic. She had a grounded way about her and she was adorable on many levels, but it is time for a shift. This linear thinking (work now, play later, gotta keep my nose to the grindstone and ignore my life) really pinches us off from the pot of gold that only each soul can find,...we all need to embrace a more holistic view point.

And what a blessing to me.  I needed to see this clearly...more clearly.

Amen and Amen

adding a great Abraham Hicks Link..enjoy

http://youtu.be/8P0rOqZBAXw

Don't Know Much...But I know I Luv YOU

March 26, 1979 to July 8 2006

I wrote a book about Jason, my son, who accidentally lost his life in California.  Jason was a teacher on so many levels. Parenting Indigo children is different.  It is more of a partnership. They don't do well with authoritative parenting.  They are leading with their heart. They are born wise, sensitive, old souls.  I wish I could do it all over again.  I have let go of any parenting mistakes and realize that I did get it right some of the time!   The relationship I have with Jason has grown.  In a way, he is closer to Zac and I in his eternal energetic form. Instead of hugging, I sense the hugs on the inside. We miss him being turf side, of course. I feel that Jason made this transition for reasons I might not fully understand.  It was not suicide, but, all death is actually agreed upon by the Higher Eternal Self and thus not a dictate of ¨God¨. During Jason's first year of transition, 2006-2007 there was a great deal of phenomena. On Mother's Day I found a card on my pillow. The inscription said, I love you always, unconditionally, Jason. And it was his handwriting.  I asked, Zachary.  He was as amazed as I was.  I write about all this in my book,  ¨Sunflowers for Jason¨.  

Humans have much to Learn from Sasquatch

Sasquatch and the Human Connection

When speaking of Sasquatch or Bigfoot creatures, I am very cautious.  I feel there will be a time we can interact with them more freely.  They are ancient ancestors of the human race.  In being such, you might ask where the fork in the road is?  That is rather sad in my opinion.  

(since posting I found the best discussion on human/alien origin ever.  I am posting this to watch on You Tube when you have an hour or so of down time. )  Star Date:  August 19 2014
http://youtu.be/pe6DN1OoxjE

June 24 2015:  I found the best discussion on Sasquatch ever.  It is the most kind reverent interaction of learning and sharing I have found.  Two guys who live in the woods have made it their mission to understand the Sasquatch's living in this area of Canada. So I hope you will also finish my post and please view this video as well. 
https://youtu.be/dK0gOhO_F48

I had a Bigfoot sighting.  I was driving through the Uintah Basin Mountains at twilight. My two little boys were in the back of the mini van. We pulled off the road out of necessity.  When I started my vehicle back up my headlights caught a pair of eyes that sent a chill through me. It was a very hairy, human like creature.  He was holding onto the side of a mountain ledge. I feel he was trying to get a better look at us.  He was at a about 100 yards away.  From my line of sight  he was about 3 feet tall.  I mean he was much larger in reality, but at my vantage point that was that size.  If you were looking at a human trekking up the side of a mountain,  and you were a distance back, they might appear to be 2 feet high.  Perspective.  

From that short connection, I started listening to stories. I really am good at sniffing out the fake stories, but some encounters fit perfectly with what I sense about Sasquatch Tribe.  I feel they are very intelligent, they have a type of language, they bury their dead.  Most importantly they are inter-dimensional and they have learned to shift between 3rd and 4th density.  They will leave a few clues for us, but unless they really wish to get to know you and have some sort of exchange, it will not happen.  

Like Native American Totem Animals, they can offer their protection to humans.  There are stories of people passing out or sustaining injuries while hiking and being helped by Sasquatches.   Those stories are few and far between for a reason.  

When we are more balanced and able to respect all animals, we will have more interaction.  When we are not a threat, we will have more interaction.  Until then they will remain elusive and for good reason!  

ASMR: A Triumphant Time for Tingles

My Personal Experience

I am such a fan of ASMR. As an experiencer of the marvelous tingly sensations I also am aware of the thousands of others who also are getting tingled daily. There is a joyous and triumphant movement abounding. Someone needs to shout it out and it might as well be me. I jumped on the ASMR tingle wagon when my friend suggested I listen to one YouTube ASMR artist, Amethysts Whispers. Now I'm an addict and I just adore many current ASMR artist. The list of artists keeps evolving as I explore. When I come home after a busy and sometimes stressful day I head for my most comfortable chair, I turn off my phone and put in my ear plugs, and then I drift off to a pleasure zone where self care and "me time" exist in surplus.

The world fades away and I am surrounded by crinkly sounds, and warm whispers, and gentle brushing:  All calming my mind.  It would be enough to be sublimely relaxed but that is not the biggest prize in this session.  Very soon I start feeling pleasure and even more relaxation as I take a little magical ride on the delicious tingle carpet.  It is sheer heaven.  It is like getting a massage and then a little fairy  brushes your face with a feather. A tingle, and explosion of pleasure and a slight tickle sensation engulfs my body.  It is a traveling sensation as the Central Nervous System sparks a response through your brain, face shoulders and back. ASMR is short for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. There is nothing like it.  It is like a force of nature takes over and lifts you up into a magical experience where trees hug you and you feel so completely loved and even celebrated.  Celebrated for just being you...the wonderful being you are.  I feel like I surrender to this cascade of pleasure and fall into a soft place of roses and happy clouds above me.  

Since I do psychic readings for people everyday, I do believe there is a connection between the sixth sense and ASMR. I believe everyone is psychic they just talk themselves out of really listening to it sometimes. On a side note: (pick a good question) angelbellsguidance.aweb.page

Anyway, one day when I was really blue and in the dumps, I listened to nothing but ASMR over and over again.  There is a threshold.  I think at some point I decided the sensation was fading.  It never completely went away.  I just realized that for me ASMR is best enjoyed in half hour doses.  It feels like a rich chocolate dessert and a foot massage at the end of my day.  Like Christmas, it would lose some of its impact if we celebrated it weekly.  Like a non drug tranquilizer it helps remove stress and other worries and readies me for sleep.

The gift of self-soothing and peace of mind

As a social worker most of my life, Self-Care becomes essential. You cannot care for others if you are not being nourished spiritually. I started keeping a book of my little pleasures, no matter how small, so that when I need to treat myself it can be as simple as going over my list to find a little mini vacation for me.  I will share some of my list in the hope that it would spark others to do the same.  Sewing, craft making, blogging, fixing a delicious treat that is low carbs and yet very tasty, reading a chapter out of an inspirational book, or a good mystery, and snuggling with my furry angels (cats). Bike rides down beautiful areas of the valley, Climbing in a hot tub with friends. Visiting a natural hot spring and then sun bathing. I used to sun bath nude when younger. That is a nice experience too. Day trips to the Grand Canyon or Sedona are rejuvenating for my soul. I love comedies and renting a funny movie is just the ticket sometimes.  

It really does not take a great deal of money to have those special moments.  The best deal in town is the YouTube community that does a great job of healing the restless places and gifting us with such pleasure and healing for free.

Why do so many of us experience ASMR (but not everyone)?

 I believe that ASMR is experienced by those who are more sensitive and in touch with their bodies and souls. As a kid I was very sensitive to all tactile sensory feelings. I could not stand itchy, scratchy, and too tight clothing or shoes.  When quite small my mother would dress me in cute ruffle dresses that I would tug at and remove. She was not happy about that. I could see colors around people and feel their discomfort as well.  I loved animals preferring them to humans sometimes. Some people had colors that were so ugly and voices that grated on my nerves. Then there are those I found beautiful inside and out! My Mom would often beret my judgements of beauty saying (she has a lantern jaw or she does not have any fashion sense) I could hear what people were going to say several seconds before they said it.  I was ultra sensitive.  My children and I are/were very psychic/intuitive/empathetic. and this is not a bizarre human characteristic. I believe we, the humans, are gifted with the knowing/sensing of subtle energies and the ability to navigate relationships with them. Emotions help us navigate well in our interpersonal relationships. I have heard that ET's are envious of the enormous pallet of human emotions we generate and even create between each others. Humans have the BIG box of crayons from which to express themselves. Emotions are very essential to happiness. Tribes that are friendly and live in harmony do not experience, crime, domestic violence, substance abuse, teen suicide and etc. I believe our authentic human heart desires this type of intimacy. At one time life was less stressful and we were able to listen to our bodies. We could dance and sing and nap without interference, If you watch your pets and children they are masters at this. 

Just added this to illuminate the talk we are having. 

I just finished an amazing true story of a little girl raised by monkeys.  Marina Chapman was abducted from her Columbian Village by two men.  For some reason they abandoned her in the rain forest far from her home.  They had used a sedative by covering her mouth and nose with a cloth soaked in chloroform. When she woke up she was surrounded by a troop of monkeys.  They coaxed her to eat fruit and finally adopted her and they spent a good part of their day foraging for food but towards the end of the day they all groomed each other.  Grooming was a communal act of bonding and adult females groomed each other as well as siblings and couples.  I think this might be an ancient type of activity for us humans as well.  As they groomed Marina she felt comforted and calm. She mentions feeling tingles sometimes as well.  It seems we have abandoned this in favor of individualism, but, this type of grooming still happens at times. As a child I spent a great deal of time in the branches of a plum tree and I love running water as well.  I am sure that these things trigger a wonderful calmness in me.  Added on 10/25/15 (there is a font change) link below. 
http://www.amazon.com/The-Girl-With-Name-Incredible/dp/1605985457

Somehow our environment has become more individualistic, mechanized, and overly structured these days.  I believe this flies in the face of balance and mental health.  This way of harried living is wonderful for the pharmaceutical companies.  I think it benefits the drug dealers as well.  I also believe that humans are naturally peace loving beings. There will be disagreements and skirmishes, but. organized, distant and depersonalized warfare is the antithesis of our true nature.  Many veterans, including my father, remain damaged for life; emotionally.  There are those who would disagree with this last statement but truly I feel we are trained into being certain types of people and those obligations are not in our best interest.  The meek will inherit the earth because in the absence of violence we become more powerful creators.  Collectively we need to vote in this direction. Perhaps we need to reclaim who we are as humans from those who would desire us to be robot like.

What is that wonderful Response?

Some of us feel it is a phenomena of allowing the Universe, All That Is, to Flow through us. Religion is a man made construct. I am speaking of that connection to "God". God is a loaded word with many concepts emerging. I like to avoid that word which can bring up images of a deity who is judgmental and vengeful. I speak and blog about my near death experience where I was surrounded in white light and God spoke to me. I realized that I had been choked off from this benevolent, all loving, unconditional, being. In fact many religions teach things that are not true to the nature of the God I experienced.  There is a primal relationship.  I mean that I was greeted with the presence of a being that I had always known and was now estranged from on earth.  It was an ancient knowing within me that I was the offspring of this being.  We have forgotten who we are and where we came from. Being born human there is a veil over our mind.  We live life as amnesia patients. When I was re-emerged with this God Presence, I felt complete and joyful and I had all my answers.  There was no aching inside me to be loved, I was drenched in sublime affection.  I now think that our human relationships are a reminder of this and mimic this all encompassing love.  We crave connection.  ASMR is triggered in a certain part of our brain in response to extreme relaxation which in turn turns on some type of human "purring" just like cats and other animals.  It is a natural drug and maybe a type of brain hormone or chemistry like dopamine.  It is healing us. If Stress is a silent killer, then this would be natures antidote.

 Meditation can do this as well. I feel much better after quieting my mind and experiencing a higher self or energy. Not everyone can empty their head and go to that place. I think guided meditation and ASMR are the next best alternatives. They slow us down, distract us, comfort us create a pleasant state of mind and some sounds just resonate with our personal well being. It is somewhat mysterious and I think more and more we will discover the answers.

Those are some extra observations. Just relax, let go and allow. That helps the experience to happen.

Some of the gorgeous ASMR Angels…

Ilsa aka Ilsa the Water Whispers

Masha aka Maria Gentle Whispering

Violet aka Veni Vidi Vulpes

Ally aka ASMR Requests

                                             

Cosmic Tingles

Heather Feather

Anastasia of Atmosphere

no photo yet

I will offer a link to some of my all time favorite ASMR sessions. 

Cosmic Tingles

Heather Feather

Gentle Whispering

Veni Vidi Vulpse

The Water Whisper