They are all Prodigies of Course
Points for Parenting (from much hard earned experience.)
So you have an Indigo Child! That is such good news. Buy a pair of roller blades and get ready to have your beliefs challenged.
1.
We are not molding them, they are here to
teach us. Yeah they did not come into
this world a blank page that we will use behavioral techniques on to structure
them. These kids are very aware and
realize the systems in place need replacing.
They are system busters.
2.
They demand respect. They will respect you if you are honest and
open with them. There are ways to
respect Indigo Children and still maintain house rules and boundaries. Interesting that they are really good at
defining what it is to be human and to have positive energy. They prefer to keep the energy in a good
place. Have a round table discussion where
everyone discusses the rules and contributes to those rules. If anyone slips up on those rules, what
should happen? They are very insightful
and creative about consequences. Some of
the old disciplines just don’t work. And
if you do decide to use corporal punishment that is going to destroy the trust
you really need with your child. They
will build a huge emotional wall that resembles the cold war. The best
parenting weapon you will have is the relationship you build with them.
3.
They will have emotional outbursts. Anger is not necessarily a bad thing with
them. I look back at my experience with
my child’s anger andI am glad that he was
allowed to express it. If it gets too
bad, everyone takes a time out. Learning
nonviolent communication is going to save the day. Parents can benefit by
getting in a class that shows you how not to be inflammatory and escalate an
emotional situation.
4.
They are naturally curious about the world and
each other. Some of the best learning
opportunities are just following their lead.
What do they want know? As I
parented an indigo who wanted to build things and figure out how everything
worked; I had to find a handyman type to
explain gadgets and appliances. This
little guy could put together a toy that came in pieces faster than I could
read the instructions. He just got it. My second one was a non verbal telepathic communicator from the start. Getting him to use words was on going.
5.
I found it helpful to have art supplies
around. Indigos have many unexpressed
feelings. They can draw their feelings and concepts and that can really save
the day. If they are bored they draw. Mine would draw in school. The teacher was perplexed but he said: I finished my work and it was easy so I started to draw. Keeping them challenged in public school is a headache. I learned later that a parent must apply for gifted testing in writing. That is how it is here. I would suggest it but I obviously did not know my rights and they ignored it.
6.
Nature walks help ground us all but it is
essential for Indigo kids. Nature can teach all of us many valuable
lessons. Animals are great
educators. One day at the park my two boys
were trying to feed the grasshoppers. A
man walked over. He admired the
tranquility that my boys displayed and said, “in my day we (us kids) might have hurt them
for fun”. Perish that thought. Indigos are very empathetic. They naturally respect all sentient life and
they might ask to be vegetarian early on.
7.
Indigos might talk about past lives, they might
be aware of spirit entities, they might communicate telepathically with other
children who can do that. They might be
able to bend spoons or move objects.
Parents need to be at ease with all these developments. Indigos will find their own teachers. They will look for mentors to aid them in
development. They don't expect parents to have universal knowledge. Never lie about that. It is perfectly ok to say "I just don't know that answer".
8.
Bottom line, they appreciate their parents
without coaxing that natural relationship.
They want a positive relationship and they will be the one to instigate
happier more fulfilling discussions with their parents. Often just clear honest discussion will be
all the discipline needed. They will
honor the point of view of the parent most of the time. If they don’t honor it, know that it is not
because they disrespect you (us), it is because there is a flawed basic premise
in what we are saying. They see through things in a way our parents
did not. It is often much easier to
say, I feel worried when you don’t come
right home after school than to say if you are not home after school, there
will be a consequence. Sometimes they
need to see the parent’s point of view from an emotional vantage point. That works very well. They often feel parents are brain washed by the status quo, but if you can appeal to their sensitive nature they will accept that you just need them to behave a certain way. Worked well about 60% of the time.
9.
Somethings are non-negotiable in
parenting. Anything that is dangerous to
self or others or extremely important to a parent might have some
consequences. Do not yell or punish when
others are present, such as friends or out in public. Speak in a normal tone of voice. If they do not seem to hear you. Stop what you are doing and go over to them.
Get at eye level and repeat your request.
Clearly in a normal tone of voice.
Example: Honey don’t pick the cat
up that way. Honey keeps on doing it and ignores suggestion. Normally a parent would just yell louder and
maybe even add a verbal threat. Instead,
go over to Honey and say, “This is a mommy cat about ready to have her kittens
so we are going to put her down so she can relax.” Usually, Honey will do it because you are
right there. If not then take the cat
from Honey and redirect Honey to some other activity. Sounds like work, but not really, in time
when you reinforce your words with action, they listen to you right away and
you won’t be screaming at them. That
raises your blood pressure and cortisol. Stress and fear based parenting are not as effective and that kind of strategy
leads to more unhealthy behavior.
10.There are lots of parenting
books out there. The ones that teach you
to listen are really important. I missed
that part in my childhood and I was not always good at really listening to my
two guys. Being fully present and
holding the space that says: you are important and I am listening; that is the
best reward and validation for kids. My
mom would say “I love you” but her actions did not show that. It doesn’t take money to impress kids. If kids ask for something expensive, just
honor it with some fantasy and vision.
If they want to have a “rocket ship” then start drawing pictures of the
one they want. Visit a space camp or
start a really cool scrap book full of rocket ships. That same thing applies to wanting a pet
Koala bear. My mom would slam those
ideas into the trash with a “money doesn’t grow on trees” talk. Don’t slam good, fun, creative ideas. You can milk those moments and use them. Talk about a token reward system, you have
the fuel for that fire. Good report card
gets 50 dollars put into the space camp fund.
(There might be a scholarship available too).
Indigos are taking us all to a better place. I learned so much from my two boys. I wasn’t the best indigo parent and of course
I got tired, impatient, yelled and behaved poorly at times. I learned a great deal when I enrolled myself
in a parenting class. My guys were ages 9 and 11 and the old ways just were not
working. I started enjoying them more
and life became a lot easier once I caught on.
I found the teen years to be absolutely delightful. They were becoming their own persons and
pushing on to new intellectual heights.
I learned to hang with them. They
were budding standup comedians and we all laughed till it hurt at times. That’s how I learned to roll. Don’t put me on a pedestal, because, I don’t
need to be there, but, I am passing some things along that helped saved the day
for me. Hope you enjoyed my points and
maybe they will work for you too
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