Does What I Eat Matter As I Revise and Resize? An Ongoing Diary

That Depends.

Maybe not as much as one would think!

Probably food has much less to do with weight than we ever dared to imagine.  As we grow and evolve energetically, it will mean even less.  Eating is pleasurable and social and has many good aspects.  We humans are nourished by food. Jesus said that man does not live by bread alone. We are nourished energetically as well.  We have been told that like a machine, weight reduction is calories in minus calories out. They can fatten up lab rats and there is some value in the fat rat and skinny rat research. There is more going on than what they intend to measure.  What about cortisol the stress hormone?   What about being able to listen to your body?  What about balanced energy and happiness?  How do all these many factors play into our overall health, well being and weight loss.

 I have tried everything! I have spent good money after bad money on products and programs.  I think I am on to something very life changing right now and this is an on going journal. I will be finished when I post those photos of me looking the way I would like to look.  Now that doesn't mean I am not enjoying the journey there.  I am. Please read below.

 

 

 



 On going self discovery: 
 

Today is January 1 2016.  I find myself weighing about 20 pounds less than in October.  It happened as a result of being ill and in the hospital, so I am not sure how to "brag" about that.  However, it was a strong intention to loose weight (at least 5 pounds a month).  I remember prior to getting sick, I did weigh and had lost a few pounds in early November.  Then I had a dental extraction and a cold that turned into bronchitis. They put me on prednisone to calm my inflamed bronchioles. As many people know, that can cause weight gain and fluid retention.  In the hospital I had gained weight.  It wasn't until I got home that I noticed a huge drop.   

 

I believe that cheap carbohydrates, and meat, and lack of raw vegetables are the cause of diabetes two.  We worry about the epidemic of diabetes in this country and it is equal to being a third world country, we are malnutrition.  Striped of complete sugars and complete carbohydrates and complete minerals and salts.  Food is not "whole" anymore. 

 

This month I plan to just do some self-care and eat well. 

 

 I will see what that looks like when I weigh in February. 

 

Today is October 16th. I feel very happy and I am experiencing better energy.  I think that is more significant than getting on a scale.  I do want to see that scale move down too.  My goal is 5 pounds a month.  And I am asking my body, mind and spirit to help prove my theory this month.

 

 For this month (Oct 16th thru Nov 16th) I will try this and see if I can get past my resistance: Keep a "good energy" record for each day  (measured by likert scale) and, Did I connect with my Higher Power each day (check mark each day) and weigh once a week (record weight). Those are the measurable ways I can see and say, this works. Self- Efficacy is important as I learn to be a manifestor.  I have one of those Calendars that you get for free.  They make excellent special goal visualizers. Today I am going to vision board my free calendar.  And allow it to track the three things I want to track.  Notice I am not creating a food dairy and doing portion control nor am I tracking exercise.  I am really realizing that with my emotional eating patterns, this doesn't work for me.  All my life, I feel like I have been putting out fires.  I have moved from one drama to the next and used food as comfort and self-validation. I would also experience guilt when on another diet and then slipping from it. This feels better in the way that I am "conscious" in a positive partnership with all of me. So let's see how it plays out.  I am anxious to "weigh in" next month.

My reason for weight loss.

Present reasons to desire a 5 pound a month weight loss: I feel stuck in yesterday's fat suit and it feels heavy and moving around feels cumbersome. I really feel my back and joints will be relieved and helped by this gradual loss. Of course I will be able to find clothes I really like and look better in them as I emerge and transform. That feels like the icing on the cake and it will come. 

Today:  September 16.  I do Richard Simmons Sweatin to the Oldies. I am less resistant to doing part of it than all of it.  I have decided to dance to two or three songs and have fun with it.  I do 15 minutes of Yoga stretches afterwards.  Would it surprise you to know that the Yoga will probably yield more results?  The low impact dancing elevates my heart rate a bit and also warms up my body for the Yoga.  I accidently lost weight when I took a Yoga class.  Over the course of 6 months I dropped 15 pounds.  My reason for being in that class was stress.  I had a stressful job.  Yoga removes stress and we know that cortisol causes bad eating and retaining weight around the middle.  Another time I lost an unexpected 10 pounds was on a vacation.  I was having way too much fun.  Usually people gain weight on a vacation.  When I went to California for a conference, the people I was with ate lots of carbs.  They stopped at Dairy Queen for Sundaes.  As Americans we celebrate with carbs.  When we went out to dinner, I ate healthy like a salad and salmon.  And once I had a margarita.  I also had the best "raw" taco ever.  It was made with taco seasoned nut meats on a cabbage leaf with a mango salsa on top of shredded kale.  Generally I would say cut way down on dairy, however; butter is better than margarine.  Lightly and gently curb yourself from bread and high carbs.  Even though your energetic state matters more, there is so much scientist evidence that says it clogs us up and is just bad nutrition.  What is more important is people who drink diet soda and have baked chips with sour cream dip while watching TV are also filling up on empty carbs.  We need nutrients to be healthy, at least logic would say.  The bible says "we do not live by bread alone".  That says so much about the emotional and energetic fuel we as humans require.  There are people who have lived without food in the Himalayan mountains.  In short, my revelation today is this:  I have lost more weight having fun and distressing than I did when on low carb diets.  Vacations and celebrations can make me sick if I don't eat good healthy things for me.  My body seems to know what it really wants as long as I don't get too hungry, therefore healthy snacking is good.  Healthy snacks contain some protein and live energy, like apple slices with peanut butter, or tzatziki cucumber yogurt dip with rice crackers. I have even used tzatziki as a dip for cucumbers and carrots and it was so yummy. Another not bad choice is my vitamin smoothie. I add Tangy Tangerine powder (chock full of minerals and essential vitamins) to some orange juice, add a banana, strawberries and vanilla protein powder (Aloha Brand) ice and blend it. I share it with my son. It boost my energy in a good way.  If I load up on Twinkies I won't have room for what really fuels my body.  When people go too long between meals, or try and starve themselves,  then they will grab easy things to fill up on.  It really does work to have a menu plan...again more of a loose suggestion instead of an order...to self.  When I go shopping I make sure that I have good choices. Also I have been catching myself when I am a self-critic about my body.  I was sitting with a group of thin professional women and they wore high heels too.  I was comparing myself and feeling fat, frumpy and underdressed,  My energy and happiness quotient started to drop and I started to disengage from conversation.  My sparky Nancy self just shrunk.  I did notice this going on.  I go to that place far too easily.  It is a very chronic habit. I call it a victory to see the mechanisms that drags me down so I am aware enough to do some pulling back up. When in a place like that, I have to reaffirm that I like me the way I am. But do I believe it? At least I say to myself, there are so many good aspects and abilities I have and the body is adjusting and shifting all the time.  I guess those are my important revelations today.

***********************************************************************************************************

Today I found some unusual reasons to be heavy.  For some of us who feel like the rug was pulled out beneath our feet a few times as I did in childhood.  Then there may be a need to ground ourselves with our weight.  I love my family however dysfunctional. I don't blame the players as much as the world view or beliefs they bought into (now that is a bit of "weighty" thought.) My upbringing was a complicated mess to survive. I deserve a medal for making it through all that crazy stuff.  Our group family  karma must out do the most dramatic soap opera shows.  Sometimes food might represent the love that was missing.  Anyway:  Bashar speaks of various psychological reasons for putting on weight and being unable to shed it.  It really hit home for me and perhaps it will strike a chord with my readers as well.  See what you think.  9/9/15

https://youtu.be/KpYM9QfqVmw

**********************************************************************************

I had a personal revelation last night. My mother seems to have something to do with my weight issue.  I have an inner rebel about weight loss.  It might be because my Mother seemed so upset when I gained weight.  Even as an adult I would call my Mother and her first question was "have you lost weight?"  I remember not eating for several weeks, before anyone had a name for that, and then thank God I abandoned that. During that phase of my life my Mother would worry that I was too thin.  When I was little she would not allow snacks for me,  because she wanted me to be really hungry at dinner time.  My mom and my weight problem are connected.  So for this week, I am going to forgive Mom and me and just move on.  This week is all about radical forgiveness and allowing the Love of God to be my main source in this regard.  If I am fed with pure positive unconditional God Presence, wow, my body is going to know and feel that.

********************************************************************************

6/5/15 On my vacation to California I did pretty well.  I was able to eat healthy food and take the tangy tangerine vitamins.  I did not feel hungry.  I ate less than normal.  But this reduction in food was not coming from a place of feeling deprived.  I think if I really wanted something I might eat a small amount and that would be OK.  When I saw pictures from my trip I noticed I was still heavier than I would like but I look OK.  Abraham says make peace with where you are, especially concerning your body.  I watched people eat large amounts of food and it made me feel uncomfortable for them.  I don't think we need as much as we think.  Anyway some sort of shift is naturally happening.  It is happening without any sort of guilt or self-degradation.  That is so important.  I want to love myself lighter and healthier.

me at Applebee's right corner with new and old friends

 ancient alien show dudes an me in Joshua Tree Park California

**********************************************************************************

As I was trying to enlist all of me, body and soul to now shed some pounds, I had to be very gentle with the process.  I had to honor the beauty of plump women, including myself.  I had to approach this as a body benefiting lessening of weight.  I said, my feet, knees and back would benefit so much from becoming lighter.  I was asked to give my self a big hug just the way I am.  The God within me never saw any of the magazines with very thin models.  I was a glamour girl the way I am.  That was such a key development in my history and resistance to a positive better self-image.  There was some self-loathing with my motivation to lose weight.  Your Higher Self will reject the Self-Hate for Your Present Body in every way.  This will create split energy and a sneaky double life.  You will be in denial about the condition of your body and yet you will be in many ways represented by your body.  You must make peace with your body where you are at. 

It is not about will power! 

None of this is about will power.  For God sakes!  For some women, they have abusive husbands or husbands who neglect them.  Food might be the only form of recreation afforded or affordable for some women.  That is a really sad thought. In fact try this little experiment: Pick out some very real (not air brushed female) and pretend that a magical fairy god mother turns you into that type of body. For the virtual reality aspect, look at pictures of yourself when you were that weight and form. Personally I don't want to look like someone else. I want to be my version of that weight. There was a Twilight Zone episode where young women got to choose the type of body they wanted.  They stepped into a cellular reorganization machine and came out looking that way. There was a discussion on the lack of diversity.  It would be like about 10 Barbie doll choices.  How very boring.  I love that beauty comes in so many forms. I don't want the anorexia look.  I like having some curves.  I just want to be lighter on my frame. It hurts my knees and feet to have so much extra weight.  So pick a weight that will best serve you.  Now be it in your mind.  What doors would that open for you socially and economically?  Would you be having more fun?  In what ways??? What relationships would change?   Take some time with this and have fun with this.  It might help to narrate a whole story around this new you.  Give her a nickname too. Imagine Hollywood is just dying to use your story as the basis for a movie?  Who would play you?  Interesting.  Be your own fairy god mother here. 

Me holding my Zachary 1981

good version of me



First discussion posted April 24 2015.  Captain Crunch Log

What I have found is loving life makes you thinner. When I am happy I do not over eat and I naturally choose the food that is right for me.  When I am happy, there is a bounce in my step and I like to take walks.  If I were not immersed in living a full joyous life, I might be chained to a program and then experience guilt when I “cheated”.  My dream life looks different.  Self-love is fundamental to your health.  A body that is swimming in uplifted energy will heal itself.  A body that is loved will balance the endocrinal system to a well-oiled sportster model.  Get thin being happy. 

Later in the same day I write:

 Becoming a more desirable weight is all about energy and our world view.  That is about as far left of our present paradigm as one can go. That is what I believe Abraham-Hicks is saying on this topic. There are hundreds of food loss programs (most with a price tag).  Some of them work for a while.  The reason they often do not work long term is the basic fundamental belief construct of a person has not shifted.  The focus has been on food, certain types of food, and energy expenditure, and calories, and other factors like supplements.  It is for each person to decide what feels right

This conversation is far from complete.  It is the beginning of a change of path.  I purchased Abraham Hicks weight loss DVD long ago.  I believe it saved me enormous amounts of money.  I don’t buy all the products Dr. Oz recommends.  I don’t shell out the money I used to.  I don’t bow down to the skinny image media anymore.  My heroes have changed.  Who is living the most the way they want to?  Ester Hicks maybe? 

You can watch her on You Tube.  I do.  I read her books and buy her DVD’s and feel richer, happier and now thinner.  And if you don’t, then find activities and friends that bring out the happiest version of you.  Put on a pair of sneakers and walk, do some Yoga, create a gratitude journal, dance to the radio, watch comedies not the news.  Those are all absolutely free and they work.  Food, what to eat, that is a whole other topic and has far less to do with weight loss than ever imagined.  Just be sensible.  You have a thick basis of dogma around this.  It will take time to say, it doesn’t matter what I eat.  So like Ester says, sometimes you must honor your beliefs.  It is nuts to eat something you believe is bad for you.  You are where you are in terms of what you think.  As Ester says you cannot turn a train going 150 mph around quickly due to the momentum.   We operate in a dimension of inertia.  It would be highly developed to decide to ignore this accepted law of physics without suffering adverse effects. 

At my present weight, it is hard to believe how men will flirt with me.  It is not a social barrier anymore. They might enjoy hanging out with a happy upbeat person?  Having a few playmates is part of my definition of abundance too. 

Co-Creating with a Crystal Ball

 

 

 

In my morning meditation I was highlighting all the aspects I like about being an intuitive counselor, psychic, channel, and medium.  What has hooked me into this?  But I don't like the cheap definition of "fortune teller".  That is a poverty stricken image for me.

 

 

I love it when the client and I are "catching fire".  Co-creating is going on and I feel so magnificent.  Many teachers believe that we are all God's children and His/Her Heaven as well.  He/She experiences new leading edge expansion through us.  I like that.  It seems that would be the case. To see the All That Is growing with us adds a rainbow to a gray sky.  

 

 

There is physical manifestation going on too.  There are flashes of light and orbs and things start to move on their own. I used to have a music box on the table. I bought it for 5 dollars at a thrift store. I put two AA batteries in it and nothing happened. But I left it on my table.  When I was doing a tarot card reading for a couple it started to work.  There was this odd whirring sound, and then it played music.  Any time a loved one was present during a reading it would work.  Ha. Love that.  James Van Praagh told me I was a physical medium.  Apports happen too. Those are lost objects.  They appear. During my reading yesterday one of my lost earrings appeared. 

 

 

There is magic in several people coming together and brain storming a solution for an issue.  Really all problems serve as spring boards to higher creation. 

 

 

So I used to think I wanted to be an advisor to the "stars".  Those are people in a position of influence and they can make a more profound impact on others. 

 

 

I have a newer revelation.  We are all stars, bright shinny ones.   I get so much benefit from seeing people reach for the next level.  My favorite readings are the ones that allow me to experience the beauty and talent (untapped) of the person in front of me.  It really is a "God" thing.  It is a divine moment unparalleled  in its ability to delight me and make my day.

 

 

For all of us there is a trickle down effect,  like the widening ripples after throwing a stone into a still pond.  Our growth radiates out and effects everyone around us. 

 

The impact of new insight is something hard to define.  It is magical and breathtaking,  When I get to experience a new paradigm with others...a bond is formed.  It is rather like being the birthing coach and witnessing new life.  I feel like the midwife. 

 

It is indeed transforming and spectacular.  I feel like I am watching a black and white movie that turned to Technicolor.  And somehow I am now "family".  Yes, I just became cousin Nancy or Angel Bell.  Many of my clients do become good friends and very family like.  I can't go back to seeing them as "the stranger who just walked in my door".

 

The way to be the Star in my experience is to ask for it, and to truly believe that when two or three come together, in true expectation, that it can happen.  Wow.  That is as good as it gets.

 

Short story.  I volunteered at a middle school as a "fortune teller" in a booth.  There were several of us helping at a school carnival.  It was a fundraising event.  I had a great time.  Most of the kids I read for were about 12 to 14 years old.  I saw amazing things in all of them and for all of them.  I think I felt like "Catcher in the Rye"  helping them deal with some of the "land mines"  ahead and showing them their own strengths and talents.  They had lots of talent.  How fun to hold a crystal ball out in front of them where all the good stuff shows up.  Things they never saw about themselves became clear.  I saw one girl winning a surfing championship.  Her mother started dancing around.  They were debating sending her to surfing school in Hawaii.  Usually kids in Arizona, don't do the surfer thing.  Yes they were surprised I saw it.  I was surprised and happy too.  It is so incredible to get validated like that.  Generally kids and young adults have such pure positive energy and I get to splash around in it for a while. Fun. 

 

There are so many blessings in doing the work I do.  I just need to highlight those.  And say...I love it and bring me some more clients that want to grow and expand and make a difference. 

 

I am making a difference too...one heart, one life, one realization at a time.

 

I see a whole constellation of stars (my people)

 

 

 

 

 

 



Will I Win the Lottery? Common Question

"Will I win the lottery" or "if you are psychic, why don't you win the lottery".  I have heard those two question lately.  But when I heard it today...it changed me a great deal.

For those reading this. I am a professional psychic.  We have a bad rap.  I work hard at changing that. And some of that "fear" and judgment comes from certain religious doctrines. I am quite sure that Jesus was about as psychic as they come.  He spoke to disembodied spirit (Elisa and Moses) and he seemed to know the future.  In Corinthians II there is a section on "gifts of the spirit" and prophesy is one of those.  How someone uses this talent is what is important.  My intentions are high and benevolent ones.

I had a very nice lady show up for a reading today.  My kitchen is my office and I work at the table. This lady had a tape recorder and I really liked that.  I wish more people would bring them.

She tried to tell me what the another psychic said.  I stopped her.  I really like to start with a clean slate with everyone.  That is counter intuitive from what people think.  The less I know the better.

This is an example:  About 15 years ago I had a job at a homeless shelter.  I was not doing readings hardly at all.  I would get requests sometimes, and say, I am so tired, beat, and just need a real week end.   If I were independently wealthy, I am sure I would do readings but it would be more on my terms. 

Back to my co-worker, I'll call her Jane, who kept asking me for a tarot card reading.  I finally said yes.  I had known her for about a year.  I liked her very much.  She was a happily married mother of four.  I enjoyed her cheerful bubbly attitude.  She looked and acted somewhat like Melissa McCarthy, (famous comedian).  Yes, I thought I knew her. 

Now to complicate this and add a wrinkle, I had been flirting with someone at work.  He was the IT or computer guy.  He was about my age, with salt and pepper hair.  He had a winning smile and I always was glad when my computer needed a visit from this guy. I will call him "Jack". 

So, Jane and I pull out our sandwiches for lunch in the break room,  and I began laying out my cards on the table.  I start to shift slightly into my ultra relaxed and ultra receptive place.  And, there it was.  There are two men in her reading.  Apparently, she is not that "happily" married because she has been having a six month affair with someone I know at work.   I saw Jack's face very clearly.  When I told her it was Jack, she turned pale as a ghost.  She was not expecting this kind of accuracy.   I think I started looking for a new job after that.  I am a political hot potato almost anywhere I work.  I made a vow to not read for co-workers again. 

I assumed I knew her.  Anything I assume can be challenged when I am channeling and receptive.  I don't want to assume too much prior to getting to that purer energy where everything gets clear for me. Give me a stranger any day...so much easier. 

End of the example.

Back to today.

I was able to stop my client from telling me too much about herself or what another psychic said.  People who visit a lot of psychics, they get so many mixed messages.  It really muddies the water.

What I saw was amazing.  Her true life path was to heal a karmic relationship with her family of origin.  That was first and the ultimate priority.  I said, you can't buy that kind of peace and harmony for a truck load of gold. 

She had a rather serious health issue.  I told her so much about that and that she should nip the bud on this.  Right now it is not too serious, but, it will become serious.  Again, I said, Health is something you cannot purchase.  You can't go buy a new body with 50 million dollars.  I remember a Twilight Zone episode where in the future that is possible.  But not now.

Up till now, I did not know that her most important question was lingering. 

She asked me about money...I said it looked good.  There were some ups and downs but she would be doing fine.  Then she mentioned a psychic who works at Vision Quest.  That person told her she would soon win the lottery.  I assume this means the huge jack pot one.

My feeling is this: even if she did, it would not help her.  And I really did not see it happening...at all.  Not a huge win.  Maybe a  small jackpot. Those are fun.  

My guides told me later that there are so many competing vibrations around the lottery.  If this wonderful lady would create the harmony she was supposed to with her family of origin, it would help the energy around her.  It would make winning the lottery more possible. 

It is all about energy.  I also received the message that if a person has a higher goal for the money it will help.   If your goal would help many people, that could effect the numbers.  The numbers you pick are not as important as the Universe deciding to line up with those numbers at exactly the right second.  Creating the right energetic connection is possible.  Is it possible for anyone to win the lottery?  Sure it is.  There are things a person can do to make it a thousand times more probable.  For one thing, do not be desperate about it. Remember this is a game with lots of players.  Have some fun with that.  Visualize the joy you will feel in winning and have a solid plan for the money.  I know someone who won 50 thousand dollars and in a year it was gone.  They partied it away.  That happens and it leaves someone in even worse shape. Now they probably have a huge substance addiction and they are loosing their home.  That is an example of the lottery not solving all the problems in one's life.  

So even if a psychic picks up on some winning numbers.  I have gotten 3 of them recently (needed 5),  energetically there is so much energy.  Out there (somewhere under the crescent moon) is an elderly woman saying prayers for all her family members and her newest great grand baby too. She is comfortable in her own needs, it is not critical that she wins.  So she tells God in her prayer what she would do for each Grand Child...and just as she finishes her prayer the lotto angels are picking numbers....

I think that is kinda how it goes. 

With a wink and a smile...

Arthritis, Depression & Diabetes Discussion

Ever wonder why Diabetes and Arthritis are almost epidemic now days?  I have learned a few things that might surprise you about these and depression.  

I had gestational diabetes.  When pregnant with my second child I had sugar in my urine.  My first pregnancy had been normal.  I was normal weight and quite healthy.  My father insisted we not eat sugar.  He was a dentist.  I seemed to be craving sweet things all the time.  But I can honestly say, I was not eating wrong in anyway according to most authorities.  

I had postpartum depression and I believe it ended my marriage.  That might not be the only reason but I believed it really contributed.  

I went to doctors and specialist for years until I started living with great pain.  It was a combination of arthritis and fibromyalgia.  I was on pain pills all the time and living a half life.  When the neurosurgeon told me he would not help me, I fell into a deep depression,  I had planned to commit suicide.  It was as though that doctor held the key to living without pain, or so I believed.  

Sitting on my couch a few days later: I was writing a good bye note to all those I knew and became very sleepy.  I had to take a nap.  When I woke up there was a pink colored flyer on the coffee table.  I had no idea where it came from.  The flyer said:  Do You Suffer from Diabetes and Arthritis?  I Have Answers for You.  Call Me.  There was a name and phone number on the flyer.  

I called Rosemary and told her I had a plan to end it all except for her flyer.  She insisted seeing me right away.  I made an appointment.  It was obvious to me that she sold supplements as there were bottles everywhere.  Again, I felt rather sad and hopeless.  Being out of work for a while had me living in poverty.  I just knew I would get a sells pitch and not be able to buy the recommended products.  Rosemary told me that she would not sell me any products until I did some reading.  She loaned me a book called "Dead Doctors Don't Lie"   I read it and it was quite an education.  That would take about 10 pages to relate.  I went back with better questions this time.  Rosemary was a great resource of knowledge.  I still was broke.  She gave me a handful of free samples.  And I went back with good results from the samples and she gave me some more.  I needed about a 100 dollars to buy the most needed items.  I felt well enough to at least get a part time job.  Even though I have a great education, I decided to work for an answering service.  I thought that I looked pretty bad.  I had gained lots of weight, and did not have appropriate work clothes.  I had thrift store finds on.  

When people talk about starting at rock bottom, I can relate.  I looked like a "washer woman",  I had no energy and I still was taking the occasional pain pill, so really who is going to hire me?  My goal was achieved.  I had my first pay check and with that money I bought the life saving vitamins and minerals I needed.  I would like to add, not just any vitamins and minerals will do.  These are more bio-accessible and plant derived as well as colloidal.  Not exactly a trip to a health food store or vitamin shoppe.  

Little by Little I started to improve,  After about six months I applied for a full time position in my field.  After a few paychecks I was able to finance a new car.  I looked like I was pulling up and out of a treacherous situation until the phone call happened,  I got a phone call that my oldest son had died.  He was 27 years old.  As might be expected, I went immediately down hill. I lost my job too.  

So my recovery looked like this:

Got the vitamins and minerals I needed, was almost completely recovered from everything, got a great job and new car.  Lost my son and was bottomed out again.  I had another son to live for.

This time it was Neale Donald Walsh that saved my life.  The intervention I needed was a spiritual one.  From Neales workshops I learned about Ester Hicks.  

I found the spiritual foundation I needed to go on.  I would say a large piece of illness is spiritually based,  Perhaps all of it.  Hard to see that maybe we did create some of our issues by being cut off from the Source of All things.  

Life Style Changes Came Next

I started walking more, doing Yoga and meditating.  This was helping a great deal but, I found some of my old complaints cropping up again.  I was starting to live with pain, I did not wish to return to pain pills.  Again I called Rosemary.  I told her that lots of life had happened but I needed to care about my body again.  This time I found the money by selling my car.  It was better to not have a car than not have a body that was healthy.  

Nowhere in this story is there a doctor of medicine. They could not help me.  Diabetes and Arthritis are actually caused by mineral deficiencies.  Remember there was a disease called Rickets that was caused by a lack of Calcium and vitamin D.  Scurvy was something sailors got from lack of Vitamin C. Nobel Prize winner Linus Pauling discovered that vitamin C was essential for our immune systems and fighting viruses.  But no one was thinking that a lack of selenium (a mineral) would cause cystic fibrosis.  No one thought that a lack of several minerals would cause diabetes either.  

Our soil was once rich in natural occurring minerals. People used to farm differently and threw wood ash into their gardens and other compost.  Modern agriculture does little to feed and fallow the soil anymore.  We eat vegetables and yet they lack vitality.  Then there is gluten.   You have heard that word I am sure.  When people stone ground healthier grains and used them in an unprocessed way, there was benefit.  Cheap white bread will kill you.   The intestines get clogged and cannot ingest the proper nutrients anyway,  I read another book by Veterinarian turned People Doctor, Joel Wallach.  Dr. Wallach was seeing arthritis, cystic fibrosis and other human diseases in animals. (folks, these are not genetic) He gave them mineral treatments because, animals don't have Blue/Cross Blue Shield.  He cured them easily enough.  

The way agriculture and processed foods have changed our world have created some very serious and epidemic health problems.  The Pharmaceutical Giants just love it.   What a hey day for those guys. Doctors cannot be doctors anymore.  The way they must practice is predicated by licensing boards and skewed research.  Anyway a must read book is "Hells Kitchen"  by Joel Wallach.  You Tube is a great place to find Wallach.  

Now I don't want to put Wallach on a pedestal although is has done more than any other doctor in this century. Admiration is not the same as idol worship. He want to give him lots of credit and, I think there are some other factors and new upcoming leaders to watch for.  

Dr, Peter Breggin has a lot to say about not taking anti depressants. There are new research studies where psychotic patients were given intravenous vitamins, largely, C, B Complex, D3 and minerals and within days were not showing symptoms of mania, depression, and delusion.  But it looks like that research got kicked to the curb.  Now who would want to hide that?  There are so many psychiatrists and doctors who are sick of how things are and try to fight against a mighty current.  Most of us can follow the money trail and stink enough to figure it out,  That is not rocket science.  

So now I am eating better, less gluten, less diary is happening for me. My symptoms are better. My life style changes like doing Richard Simmons "Sweatin to the Oldies" everyday, taking nice walks, doing Hatha Yoga once again are greatly helping. My spiritual practices include inspirational reading, group meditation and my own meditation each morning. 

I think I am doing the right things with food.  I have been cooking with coconut oil. (all wrong)  I try and keep up with all the health trends.  Now I am reading "Hell's Kitchen" by Joel Wallach and find sauteing in oil is not advisable according to Wallach. Sometimes it is not advised to be a vegetarian either.  I was reading that a more raw vegetable diet, lots of greens, fish, nuts and healthy grains (not the cereal killers) but adding brown rice instead to our menu..it is much prefered.  It has been about 10 years. 

 I went to a doctor today and my CN1 is almost normal and my echocardiogram is "perfect".  I dance everyday and feel great. When I think about that suicide note it seems like another person.  It was worth the journey

I know people want a more blow by blow description but that is like 500 pages.  I will have to write a book. There is a more detailed account of what I am doing on my 90 Day Challenge Face Book Page. It has great recommendations.  

 If you do decide to order Doctor Wallach's products,  tell them Nancy sent you and my Distributor number is 2445-9901.  

I am not even a sells person.  I got a check for 10 dollars once.  I decided to become a distributor because I use their products and save on shipping.  That 10 dollars would not pay the rent. 

 Some people do quite well. Rosemary is healthy and delightful and is making a living at counseling and selling these health products. I have been trying to get well and that was my only goal. I just lightly tap people on the shoulder and say "maybe this works" and no arm twisting happens.  I now think that is because maybe I did not completely believe it myself.  I came from a doctor (my Dad) and it is hard to do something that often is not advised by doctors. We tend to hold doctors in a god like reverence. Well, I can thank modern allopathic medicine for all the great diagnostics. I have a lot of proof now that my insights and renegade ways have paid off.  I don't expect people to just jump in the way I did.  Perhaps at least I can encourage others to do their own research.  I can only offere what worked for me.  At last I have test results that confirm it.

If you want a consultation, and an education for your specific issues please visit my website and book an appointment. my website The products are not always one size fits all...but everyone needs minerals, vitamins and EFAs just for the basics.  There are starter packs available at Youngevity.  


Edgar Cayce recommended a few things that are not mentioned by Dr. Wallach. Cayce suggests getting spinal manipulation by a chiropractor and castor oil packs. He believes the best salad dressings are olive oil, lemon juice and spices and also red wine vinegar. I think these are meaningful additions as well.  I like this article I found and would say this guy is a living example of taking control of your health.  The only thing I would be cautious of is whole grains the contain gluten.  Wallach calls those "cereal killers" LOL.  They often keep the intestines from absorbing all those great minerals and nutrients we add. Here is the link: 
http://www.cayce.com/controllingdiabetes.htm

This is a fuller explanation of Cayce's recommendation.  I suggest adding Sweet Ez or a combination of chromium and vanadium as well as other minerals.  Wallach states that minerals work in concert.  

read:http://www.edgarcayce.org/are/holistic_health/data/prdia23a.html  

What I Don't Know About Mental Health

More on Mental Health

There might be a war on and it is not one of swords but of research. It is a non stop cliff hanger when you have a loved one in a managed care system. I don't know what is more frustrating; the system or the odd behaviors of the loved one.  Really both.  Both and there seems to be no lack of dumb answers.  I am in the field.  I am training to be a therapist.  That so far has been a history lesson in the founding theories of Psychology.

I feel it is a mistake to align with the medical model when dealing with human behavior.  I am much more interested in causal relationships.  Even if I suspect I know the causes, then what is even more a worry is the cure.  I can attest that prevention is going to be an easier path than fixing damaged minds and hearts.

We cannot take the mind, emotions, beliefs, and physical body and separate them into components. They all work together.  There must be a holistic approach to well being if there is any improvement to be realized at all.

What we do know.  Early childhood trauma is the usual culprit in creating mental illness.  children are far more vulnerable to beliefs and fears.  Abandonment can last a life time.  Abuse and emotional estrangement can cause a fracture in the mind.  If redeemed early enough there will be no lasting psychosis.  Sometimes it only takes one caring person to save a life.

What happens if that person reaches adulthood?  It is much harder to help them.  In fact there are no really effective strategies and the current remedy is psycho-pharmaceuticals.  Many of these drugs are very toxic.  Some cause permanent nerve damage as well as sterility.  Often times it is as dangerous to stop taking these drugs as it is to be on them.  It can take a year to titrate off a a powerful drug that alters brain chemistry.  Many mass tort cases are being won out of court against the manufacturers of these anti-psychotic and anti-depression drugs.

Adolescence is a time when psychosis usually shows up.  One doctor explained to me that the increase in hormones, like testosterone, causes the brain to do neural flip flops.  It is no secret that teen aged boys start to behave in risky and illogical ways.  That is the norm. It is also a time when the fractured mind will most likely become obvious.  I also read that genomes can switch on at various times.  Genes can lie dormant until certain environmental factors are present.

There may also be new research pointing to the status of the pregnant mother.  Mothers who are malnourished or diabetic during pregnancy might have a huge part to play in the formation of certain limbic functions and the formation of the cerebral cortex.  There is such a delicate balance going on in utero.  I had gestational diabetes.  I am wondering about that.  Diabetes is a form of malnutrition. Dr. Wallach has found that it can be corrected by adding additional minerals during pregnancy and afterword during nursing.  We need about 80 trace minerals that our over used soil is not providing.  He maintains that electricity might have changed our health as much as convenience junk foods. In the good old days they added wood ash to the garden and that garden was organic as a matter of course,

Another factor is the stress that many young people grow up with and the controversial mind programming that occurs for youth these days. Many people may be more mind controlled than they are lead to believe.  Finding a healthy world view is difficult.

I just read an article on Dopamine blocking drugs.  They believe that a schizophrenic is experiencing too much dopamine in their brain chemistry.  I don't think that is the reason.  What is the reason?  That is a million dollar question.  That is a question that would put the pharmaceutical industry out of business.  Every treatment seems to be focused now on drugs.  All those psychiatrist would be pumping gas or waiting tables.  The research is largely funded by the pharmaceutical industry...if someone feels socially awkward...they will develop a pill for it or any other uncomfortable feeling.  I believe the answers are close at hand.  I might be on the trail even.  If I do find out some things..who will publish it.  Who will finance the trial studies.  Oh my, it is indeed darkest before the dawn.

http://web.williams.edu/imput/synapse/pages/IIIB5.htm

http://pharmacistben.com/

http://angelbell444.blogspot.com/2014/06/arizona-mental-healths-huge-machine.html

There are 10 years of articles but I will not list all. When I find the most perfect one.. I will come back.

About Angel Bell

written by Nancy Lake, Clairvoyant Counselor

landing page:  angelbellsguidance.aweb.page

heynancylake.com

Angelbell is an alternate handle.  I call it an entertainment name.  I once had an interactive website called Angel Station 444.  I was feeling an increase in angelic presence in 2000 when I developed that site.  I remember being on line for 12 hours when the 9/11 tragedy happened. We supported each other just by chatting. My site was accidentally deleted in 2005.  None of us are sure what happened.  I had 500 members who knew me as Angelbell instead of Nancy.  Naturally that handle has stuck.

Tarot has been in my life for a really long time. It is a tool and like any tool, the hands, creative insight, and knowledge of the master, make all the difference.  Tarot cards are made from card board.  In and of themselves they hold no power.  They are rich in symbolism and for a clairvoyant like myself, they allow me to focus and prioritize the energy and downloaded information I am receiving.  They are also very useful in my subconscious world.  Now I have two masters degrees.  One in Forensic Psychology and one is an MA in clinical mental health counseling.   I have many family members who have struggled with mental health issues.  I have quite a few loved ones who have committed suicide. All of my skills and education allow me to help others by stepping onto the fast lane.  I figure it out rapidly.  

I had a dream last night. The high priestess had several gifts wrapped in shiny gold paper. She handed me one of them.  They were sitting on a raised table.  It reminded me of Christmas Eve when we children were allowed to open one gift, and the rest of them in the morning. So as I was once promised, ahead of me are golden opportunities. Once, I was dying. On the other side, I asked to not come back to this life. I was told (by God) Nancy don't miss the "golden" opportunities that await.
https://angelbell444.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-time-of-my-life-my-near-death.html

 I am excited! I am in one of those times. In my dream the High Priestess was the female form of God.  I have noticed that originally God had a male voice in a past NDE.  God can choose to wear different costumes and skin to reach us as needed.  God is the most misconstrued word in our language and everyone has their own definition. https://angelbell444.blogspot.com/2015/08/snap-shots-of-god.html


I was at the Findhorn Community in Scotland in 1981.  That was one of the first spiritual intentional communities.  I blog about that awesome experience here:  https://angelbell444.blogspot.com/2012/11/fairy-magic-at-findhorn-scotland.html

The time is coming where we can agree on similar aspects of God, The All That Is, and the Source Energy.  I believe that energy feels like overflowing love and freedom.  I speak and blog of my near death experience where more than anything I realized the depth of my relationship with God and how much I had missed His/Her presence in this life.

I am a huge fan of Ester Hicks and the Abraham teachings.  I went to her workshop in Phoenix and was glued to my seat.  Her teachings have made a great impact on my life as well as Bashar's teachings.  My blog of Abraham is: http://angelbell444.blogspot.com/2014/02/abraham-hicks-in-phoenix-february-1st.html

How did I get started in all this?  It began with many paranormal experiences in childhood. I had questions that were not being answered in Sunday school.  I have a wonderful blog about Anne my Gypsy friend. She became my mentor during my teen years for becoming a psychic card reader.  She taught me how to do that. http://angelbell444.blogspot.com/2012/11/anne-my-red-headded-gyspy-friend.html

 I married and became a mother.  Put away my deck of cards for many years. After my divorce many moons ago, I found myself pursuing a degree.  In 1993 I received a Bachelor of Arts degree from Northern Arizona University.  I recently completed all course work for my Masters Degree in Mental Health Counseling.  I think I have a solid A so far.  Maybe even summa cum laude (will see soon) and I am entering internship.  I will need a 1000 hours to be licensed. 

 I do stay busy these days.  So going back to my past as a social worker, or family support helper, I found my intuition was alive and working without cards.  I was being guided on how to best help families.  At that time I was paid very little and worked a 50 hour work week.  I had two children that really needed me as well.  I soon become run down and had to take some time off. I was so fatiqued and in pain.  I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. And after a bad accident, my X rays concluded that I had degeneration in my spine.  It is also called spinal stenosis. 

In 2006 I lost my mother and my 27 year old son, Jason. I wrote a memoir of Jason and many gifts.  He was "near famous" in San Diego.  The book is called Sunflowers for Jason.  He painted this one.

 My grief was substantial. I had to quit the job I had.  I decided to return to school to pursue a Master’s degree in Counseling.  I do well with academia. What I have found is that many of the metaphysical paradigms exist in psychology.  They have been coined and “discovered” by many noteworthy people.  They have become foundations and theories under a different name.  Columbus did not discover America, it was always there.  The difference between metaphysical, Native American shaman, Ancient Philosophy and Psychology is the language used for the very same thing.  

After all the psychology classes I value the training I received from Anne even more.  It is the fast track to therapy.  I see the problems and solutions so much faster.  What would take six weeks of discovery on a therapist couch happens in about 10 minutes.  I hope that there will be a wider acceptance of intuition in our field. They are trying to be more like the medical model.  And in my opinion that is not working out too well. 

I believe that I knew St Francis of Assisi in a very personal way.  This time around I honor my body and like sensual pleasures I don’t believe are wrong. Not to say I am immoral nor am I hedonistic. Just the right amount of things this time. I am also anti-poverty.  I learned that one does not need live and austere life to be spiritual.  Starving and having bleeding feet is not preferred this time around.  I also remember being cold.  I did that and wore the tee shirt. I wrote a blog about St. Francis, as I knew him.  http://angelbell444.blogspot.com/2014/01/my-life-as-saint-francis.html

I found my ancestors on the Alabama Indian Removal document of 1835 and that confirmed what had been only hinted at all my life. I am a wonderful blend of Cherokee and Irish.  I know the Irish or Celtic people more easily are in touch with their intuition.  The Cherokee are just so clairsentient.  It is a nice genetic package for the work I do.  I was born in Arizona and lived in Phoenix most of my life.  I moved to Sedona in 2010.  I just loved it there.  I learned so many things from the psychic community there.  It was an education that would not be possible anywhere else. 

I had to leave Sedona in 2012 when toxic black mold was discovered in the damp walls where I was living.  So I wrote an early blog about surviving black mold.  I almost did not survive.  And I lost everything financially in having to move fast with the bare minimum.  I used up my savings and slept on a friends couch for a while until I got better.  I am not alone, many people experience this.  http://angelbell444.blogspot.com/2012/09/surviving-toxic-black-mold-sickness.html

Another part of my experience is being abducted and on board craft and in clinics.  I do blog about that part as well. There is a connection between being psychic, creative, and high IQ and alien abduction experiencers.  I share quite opening about my experiences with the hybrid program and how I was to discover my role and then cope in this blog:  https://angelbell444.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-essay-on-hybrid-children.html

At this time I am a professional psychic, medium, life coach, author and speaker as well as a published author.  As I mentioned. I have a published book called.  I think it is out of print.  
Sunflowers for Jason

Please visit my page to see my list of services.  angelbellsguidance.aweb.page

There are a few photos that do say a thousand words. I will share and hope they tell you a little story too.

Me and John Wayne at the rodeo:  Springerville, Arizona.  I am on the left.  1968 age 15.

Me in the red shirt with Vance holding our little boys. On our way to Scotland from

Sky Harbor Airport, Phoenix, AZ  1981

My Master's Degree!  Me on far right side. 2016

Neale Walsch & My Tears & Teirs of Angels

My Angel Experiences

These are some of my Angelic encounters.  I try and leave out religious interpretation. I see that too often and Angels appear to people of all walks and faiths.

Bashar says “Don’t Be a Belief Thief”.  I think that is excellent advice.  I have listened to so many people discuss Angels and I think there are no experts with all the right answers for me.  I prefer to read about eye witness experiences that offer no religious or filtered interpretation.  The Bible is the most prevalent source of Angel stories.   I have had several Angelic encounters and dreams.  I am so happy that I can share them. 

I agree with all the people who say, “Ask for Angelic help”.  They are there for us.  I think we ask in many ways and sometimes without knowing that we are asking.  This leads to a powerful experience of protection.

 Someone I knew and cared about was about to attack me.  As this person ran towards me to “smack” me, it was like a gale wind blew him into a wall. He hit his head and almost passed out.  I felt both compassion and relief at the same time.  I could feel the tremendous energy in the room and I have felt that energy before in my life.  I call it the Michael energy.  I now believe that Angels are a collective and not assigned a hierarchy. That is another realization that I have come to.  I also feel my state of mind made a difference too.  I think if I had not been in a peaceful, loving frame of mind, that event could have taken a different turn.  For instance if I had been angry and argumentative, my own energy might have allowed some sort of physical attack. There is a plug in this story to remain true to the Source of Love that we all belong to.  This is only my personal belief and I encourage people to meditate and turn to their inner Guru for their own answers.  But as sure as I breathe it really happened.  I can count many times where I feel I was spared a very unpleasant experience or two.

 

One day I was driving behind a huge gas truck.  I was in my own world and thoughts.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw a huge Warrior Angel hanging on the back of this truck.  He might have been 12 feet high and he was intently watching everything on the road.  He wore a white Roman like toga with a gold rope belt.  There was something around his head like a band. His hair was page boy length and of a ginger color.  I have no interpretation for this experience.  I feel that to haul gasoline for a living a driver needs all the help he can get.  An explosion in major traffic could harm many people.

In 2001, I had a sad experience.  I was asleep on my living room couch and the sun was up.  It must have been about 8 am.  I was awakening but still in bed when my room filled with Angels.  These Angels did not have wings but I noticed they were floating above the floor about 4 feet. They came in a group of about 7.  They were all female as noticed by their wardrobe.  They were ethereal in flowing pastel gowns. There was no ceiling as the room had a golden glow that transformed the third dimensional limitations.  The hair colors varied as did the gowns.   One very pretty brunette acted as the spokesperson and took a step (move) towards me.  Solemnly she said “go home Nancy”   I sat up in bed as this faded away and thought “I am home”.  Then I pondered the message some more as to what “home” was.  I did not have to ponder for long.  The phone rang, and my Mother was on the line crying.  She reported that my younger brother, Bruce, was found dead in his apartment. She was so distraught and kept saying “my baby is gone”.  I tried to comfort her.  It was a short call and she hung up as she had other calls to make.  Within a half an hour Mom called back and began crying again.  During this call, I said, “Mom, I am going to get in my car and drive to your house.  I will be “home” in about two hours.” Then it hit me, the message was telling me to go to Mom’s house.  In this experience the Angels were there as special messengers.  Their presence gave me the strength to help my Mother, who was falling apart, and to know my brother, Bruce was in good hands and good company.  Indeed!

My  Alaskan Cruise with Neale Donald Walsh was a profound and memorable one.  I was fortunate enough to be on the God Cruise in 2008. This was a real game changer in my life.  But I need to share a little back ground leading up to this cruise.  

 After losing my Brother, my Mother, and My eldest son Jason, I felt utterly defeated. I experienced a rash of "deaths" or transitions within my family.  I was seeing a grief counselor, a 70 year old nun named Teresa.  What a remarkable woman.  She asked me if I felt the presence of my loved ones.   I did quite frequently feel that they were in the room with us. After leaving my counseling session, I felt like stopping at a used book store.   As I walked through the aisles, I noticed a book fall off the shelf.   It was Neale Donald Walsh’s book “Conversations with God”.  There are three volumes and it was volume two.  I looked and they also had volume three.  I purchased them feeling very inspired to do so.  An odd coincidence happened later, a friend handed me volume one.  I was completely sure now, I just had to read them.  Long story short, I think Neale saved my life.  With some inheritance money I purchased a week long workshop and dream vacation at the same time.  I was able to meet a spiritual icon in person, Neale.

This was an Alaskan Cruise and I blog more about it here: http://angelbell444.blogspot.com/2015/05/heaven-and-god-on-this-alaskan-cruise.html

Back to the last day of this cruise.  Neale played some beautiful music as he invited all of us, about 44 people, to go deep within and have our own conversation with God.  The whole week had lead up to this moment.  As I was going into another realm, I looked up and saw tiers of angels singing above our auditorium.  It was a concert of Angels lifting us all up.  Neale had suggested we write down a question for God to answer.  I don’t even remember what my question was, I only remember the ANSWER.

 The flood gates if my heart broke followed by a fountain of tears.  Neale walked over to me with a microphone and asked me, “Nancy, I want you to share what you are feeling”.  I was trying to tell him and everyone what I saw and felt.  I was showered with love and acceptance. I heard the words, “don’t you realize how loved you are?”  I remember trying to explain the connection and put it into words, but, I just blubbered into the microphone with few real words.   Neale said to everyone there " This is how I felt when I wrote my books. I would become overwhelmed with emotion and tears"  I was glad to hear Neale say that actually.  Sometimes Neale can be cerebral in his discourse.  I would call it intellectual and detached.  I understand that makes me a better counselor and it makes him a better speaker.  As I so aptly demonstrated, it is hard to communicate when crying and being swept away. 
 

I have to mention another vision I had regarding to Neale and his mission.   I saw Neale dressed like a pope.  In fact with his longer white hair and beard, he looks almost the same except the beard was ever longer as the pope.  He wore a white mitre on his head and white robes.  I knew that Neale had been a formidable religious figure in a past life after this downloaded scene appeared.  I also was made aware that, he had power in that life but lacked some true insight.  This time he is flooded with insight and had to raise "his church" up once more from the ground level.  Literally from the streets, as St. Francis had done. 

Neale Donald Walsch                                                                                                                                    Pope Julius...(maybe a past life of Neale)

 I don’t have the manual that answers all the Angel questions.  I think the answers emerge only if others share their stories and then we have a mosaic emerging.  Take away the filter of what has been said, and what religions say, and you will see a more Universal Truth emerge. 

These are my offerings to you this day. January 31, 2015

Whoa: Are You Sure There is No Karma, Abraham?

Places where I am conflicted with the Abraham Teachings.

I consider myself to be an Abrahamster.  I appreciate the channeling of the collective called Abraham via channel Ester Hicks.  I went to her conference in Phoenix on February 1, 2014.  It was great to see her in person but I did not get to ask a question in the hot seat.  My question was about Angels.  A man named Otto handed me a feather after the conference.  He asked if I was a medium, and I said “YES”.  Since I did not know him, I was thinking, OMG.  That was a confirmation of the question I had hoped to ask.

So, I remain a fan.  I am far better off after listening to Abraham for the last 5 years. It has broadened my horizon and I just feel happier these days.  So what is my gripe?  Abraham would say, “What is stuck in my vibrational craw”.  Two areas are conflicted to this day for me personally.  These beliefs seem to be juxtaposed in my center.  I feel that a better explanation needs to be offered to us earthlings who are in this world of physicality. 

Belief One:  Karma and the Akashic Records.

I think they are meaning ideas about Karma that do not benefit us.  Edgar Cayce mentioned some fears and health problems resulting from past life issues.  Two stories come to mind.  The first one was a woman born with a deformed hip.  She had been to many doctors and had multiple surgeries.  During her Cayce reading he said there was a spiritual and Karmic energy attached to this hip issue.  When she was sitting in a Roman Coliseum watching Christians being fed to lions, she laughed when one young lady's butt was bitten and torn by a lion.  Not only was it a sign of little compassion or empathy, the bigger issue was not allowing others to have their beliefs.  Even if someone has different beliefs than our own, we must allow and respect that.  We are all growing in conscious awareness at are own pace and in our own way.

Another Edgar Cayce reading involves a man who was born a dwarf.  He also had health issues.  He elected to be born to this body for his growth.  Cayce said that Hitler had asked him to destroy the wheat fields and orchards prior to the arrival of the allies in Germany.  He did this as asked but it must have triggered a huge spiritual rift later.
 

I myself do past life reading.  I am able to view Akashic records.  It does seem that we carry some soul memory via our energetic body into this life time.  There is some thread of connection. 

Each time Ester is asked about Karma it seems it upsets her and she says it is a flawed concept.  Perhaps some of the idea of retribution is faulty, but the soul memory and energy of key events I feel do cross into our present mind and body experience. 

I am hearing Abraham say,” yes, but you are not limited in this way. “ Take the value in an experience and go on…go on to create joy and love.  I just got some of this.  It is a complicated thing to explain and that is probably why she “dislikes” this subject.   

The other two issues for me are childhood abuse and personal boundaries.  Those are large topics as well.  I don’t feel moved to go through both of those today.  I have not yet heard a satisfactory explanation of children creating abuse in their lives yet.  Few of us are born in to TV perfect homes and families.  I suppose even as children, we can attract events or protect our environment.  I am not completely resolved on Angels, Abuse, Boundaries and Karma…all complex. 

The paradigm has not shifted but little by little I can see that none of these things need hold us back.

So more later, more realization is coming.