Chapter 15: Opening That Closed Door. About My Near-Death Experience

 God: Nancy you closed the door.

 ME:  I did?  How?

After about 70 years of life, many answers have shown up and of course I want to share them.  Near Death Experiences happen to millions or billons of people.  I don’t even feel special about having a NDE and yet it was a big event for me.  It was life changing. My title says more about my NDE because many of the questions I have about God and my conversation with God have evolved over time.  I have written before about my experience and I apologize to those who might be saying “oh, no, she is not going to tell this again”.  I am telling parts of it again with a twist.

I was listening to a new personality on You Tube.  His name is Phil Good.  I was so impressed with the depth of his presentation.  I have been listening to other channelers and I am grateful to them all.  Phil is channeling but he does not change personalities and speak differently.  He remains conscious and complete in his discussion.  Phil was speaking of the Ego getting in our way.  His discussion was about tuning into the higher resonance and letting it steer your course.  We all have an internal GPS system.

Phil said that it is our ego that gets in the way and closes the door to God. It has taken me forever to realize that is what closes the door. It doesn’t matter if someone claims to be an atheist.  Most atheist think that they are more intelligent than their faith believer friends.  Before we knew the words God and Atheist, we were aware of our magnificent all-knowing parent at our birth.  Then religion showed up in our lives. God sat on a throne and looked a certain way and only let some people of a certain religion into heaven.  Another version is that God is the basic intelligence behind all life and is out in space observing the results of the big bang as it unfolds.  Another version is that God is Mother Earth and takes on a female form during deity worship.  So many disagreements occur over who is right.  There are so many versions, and they may all have some of the essence of God.  

After my NDE I believe the light I saw in all things is Source and yet He/She/It is as close and intimate as your lover. He is as proud as the Scottish Grandfather or Seanair and as huggable as the Grandmother Earth. They grin from ear to ear like a Cheshire Cat when you get it right and things are going well.  They laugh like the thunder of Indra when you are in on the joke.  God has many names and many hats.  So relax and know that whether or not you believe it, That ancient love of you exists.

There is a blog I wrote called Snap Shots of God.  I cover more about the concepts of God there.  

Going back to Phil Good. He said that we are not here to merely survive but to have an exceptional life.  I could not agree more.  Through emotions we navigate life.  Emotions are energetic manifestation that lead us to those steps that will reveal our next higher self. Imagine a shellfish that keeps growing and expanding and sloughing off old shells. There is a challenge to become emotionally intelligent.  Many people try to avoid emotions all together.  Some emotions are uncomfortable.  With emotional realization you can reclaim the you that you got cut off from.  Emotions will be another chapter so not to worry.  I will cover this thoroughly.  I love emotions.

The Elevator Story of My NDE.  Just so you know, an elevator story is a short version of a critical event in your life.  It should only take a few moments to tell a stranger on the elevator the story before you must get off on your floor.  

About 40 years ago I had a D and C surgical procedure.  It is a minor surgery, so I was not worried.  When anesthesia is administered any number of things can go wrong.  There are variables with how our bodies respond to anesthesia.   I was not coming back to my body in the recovery room.  I could here the nurse calling my name and I just wanted to tell her to quit calling my name.  I was having a very important conversation with God.  I was telling God that I did not want to come back to my life and I was quite upset.  I had found joy, freedom, and unconditional love in the arms of Source.  I recognized God’s voice and I was reunited with a long lost loved one.  It felt very harsh to have to return to my body and present life.  I was a wife and a parent, and my duty would be to return and care for my loved ones. That would seem obvious, but it was not obvious.  I had been living my life on empty and the love I offered was not a full-bodied love.  The life I was living was the life of a prisoner of war with little hope of finding freedom.  Those who knew me back then would probably agree.  I was not the one you would want to invite to a party.  I lived in a dysthymic state of existence.  So I did go back, but was there free will in returning to this now Nancy existence?

 God was able to convince me that I would prefer this.  My soul contract would benefit greatly by returning.   I was told that this life was a gift and a golden opportunity for me.  To Segway: That was the problem with suicide.  I was not committing suicide but indirectly I was committing suicide.  Many people carelessly do not honor their bodies.  They smoke and drink and eat bad processed food.   They seem to welcome getting to the end and being able to say goodbye to an unsatisfactory life.   I lived life according to the terms and conditions of others.  They are not creating their lives but accepting and settling for what selfish other’s have deemed correct and even appropriate. (Just look at that evil person Meghan Markle) It is a shallow and watered-down existence that others convince you of living.  I had so much to be grateful for.  We had a new home with a lovely back yard for the boys.   The boys were healthy and beautiful, and I was healthy and beautiful.   I will include a real picture.  My youngest was about a year old.

I am in the middle with the red turtleneck on and my very handsome husband is holding our two boys.  The others are friends who were seeing us off to Scotland.  How many blessings does one girl need?  I was lucky.  

Here is another picture of me and Zak.  Below.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.   I see us all as gorgeous and yet, it was effortless and not appreciated.  We were gifted with a golden opportunity. In a blinking of an eye it vanished.  I am growing older. I have that 20/20 eyesight. Today would mark the 40 years it took to see this better.  I return from my commentary to this day 40 years ago.

Back to the day of this NDE and the nurse who is still relentlessly calling my name and I am trying to not listen.  I am still speaking with God and doing my best sells pitch to remain in heaven with My Father/Mother All That Is.  Nothing else even come close to mattering.  Just look at those little boys. That should and would do it, right?  I remember saying to God, “I don’t want to leave you”.  With that God replied, But I am there (on earth) with you.  I am there too and all you need to do is ask for me.  God continued, I was always with you, Nancy.  You are the one who closed the door between us.

With that comment I returned to the recovery room.  The nurse was glowing. She had a halo.  I mentioned how lovely she looked.  She seemed to be having an awkward moment accepting that.  She was gorgeous just standing there without makeup in a surgical gown.  I felt like a starving artist that just had been treated to a Thanksgiving dinner with pecan pie for dessert.  I was full to the brim with love and appreciation.

That feeling lasted for about another week.  All my houseplants had halos, and everyone seem so incredible.  I had the gift of seeing the inner being or authentic self of all other people. That authentic self was better than whipped cream. Yummy.  I saw the light of God in all living things. 

Some of that honeymoon feeling wore off. I returned to everyday life, and I also returned to some not good habits of thought. Someone would be unkind or insulting to me and I would fall to the frequency of old patterns and old realizations.  The climb towards awareness is like building a stone road up a hill.  You can’t jump ahead but God does give us encouragement.  Sometimes terrible things would happen. I would start to go into a deep depression and then remember that God had made a promise to me.  All I needed to do was ask for help.   I found that help would always show up.  It seems that I could fret and wonder and then, it was there.   It was obvious that I needed a bit of patience and faith. 

 I started reading the NDE’s of others. I wanted to remember that feeling once again. Some NDE’s left me uninspired, and others brought back the amazing experience that is so hard to describe. Many experiencers mentioned having a feeling of home sickness. That is this feeling that earth is like summer camp.  We have something to learn or accomplish and we also are here to enjoy life and create memories.  Then we return to our real home.  Many experiencers mentioned they no longer were afraid of death.  That is also true for me. My bags are packed, and I am ready to go. I am trying to meditate every day.  Reconnecting with that love and joy is important to living the life I would like to be living.  Someone once said, “you don’t have to die to go to heaven and you don’t have to die to be in hell”.  Both of those places are not determined by circumstances but by perception.  They are states of mind.  To be in heaven you only need to open your heart to that Power that Creates Worlds.  Partner up with the Creator.

Just to sum up what Phil Good was saying:  Ego is the attention we have for those sparkly things in life.  Each day is full of those things that grab our attention.  Ego is listening to those harmful messages that are all about judgement.   We are either putting ourselves up or down compared to someone else.  There will always be comparisons.  Others are taller, shorter, rounder, thinner, smarter, dumber, less educated, less satisfied with their love life or more satisfied.  There is a very long list with comparisons. We are so distracted with things that just don’t matter.   To make it more personal: I was dysthymic most of the time.  All I needed was to connect with my Higher Self and have unconditional love for myself and others.  That one sentence seems easy but getting past the ego takes a great deal of focus.

 

Chapter 32 SPS. To Grow More Lovely Inside and Out

 

This might be a Ted Talk someday down the road.  That would be lovely.

                                            

 My frustration with losing weight has been on going but today I am celebrating small successes in how I feel.  Overall, I feel more energetic and I have made some  lifestyle changes. The scale (pounds) used to wreck my day, but now I do not allow it to be my only measurement. Today I did weigh. I gained 2 pounds, but I now have developed a questionnaire for myself. Now I like to rate my happiness and overall energy. I look to applaud myself with small achievable goals. Examples: Did I take my Youngevity products, do Yoga and Zumba today? Did I stick to my Keto eating plan? I really love the food on that plan. What would I most like to do today?  Learn Today?  And who do I want to touch today? Touch means reach out to and is not a romantic touch necessarily. Many times my touching or reaching out is random and accidental and perhaps all the more sacred for me. I like to play with the Universe. To play I summon all the love I feel for humanity and send it out like a boomerang and I am quite sure it will return to me with many blessings. With all that love and joy perhaps my weight loss will pale and not be such an obsession.  Lately I have been gifted with information. 

 I watched a documentary on You Tube called "why thin people stay thin".  These people can eat anything and they were doing an experiment to try and gain weight. They could not even gain weight.  When they started eating more calories their metabolism would increase.  The participants liked sports and walking, however they were asked to refrain from working out and walking too.  Yes, and they did not gain weight.  Weight loss is not just about calories in and out;  it is all about metabolism and maintained energy. 

Being over weight means there are other issues.  The first thing I am doing is focusing on my overall health.  I could starve and then fall and break bones and a hip replacement too. Having the goal of the scale showing 90 pounds cannot be the end all be all. My organs would shut down if I starve and I would have no vitality.  They say that anorexic people cannot get thin enough. I hate that the fashion industry has created that sort of image for women. I think they are trying to change that standard. 

I had a dream that I was dating several different men (but not being promiscuous) and I had some curves.  In fact I was probably 30 pounds overweight.  I looked so happy and radiant.  I was having fun and I was genuinely laughing (as opposed to fake laughing).  In this dream I was dancing with the occasional hip bump and I could really bump pretty good. I seemed to have positive self-worth. Wonderful dream to remember.  

I wonder if those trying to out do Twiggy ever thought about longevity and being an uplifting personality.  They say beauty is as beauty does.  Another saying about personality is this: Beauty is consciousness.  Being conscious is enlightenment and knowing who you really are.  In esteeming yourself you will esteem others. Personality is very important in the dating world. 

One day a lady handed me a book. (she must have been an angel).  The name of it was Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz.  Dr. Maltz was a very wise plastic surgeon.  He was realizing there was a huge piece of self image that has nothing to do with how someone really looks. Looks are subjective anyway. Dr. Maltz would transform deformed faces into something pleasing to the eye.  There was a problem with the perception of the owner of that face; they clung to the belief they were still grotesque and unlovable. Beliefs die hard. Dr Maltz would have his patients put the words "I LOVE YOU" on their bathroom mirror as one step to unconditional self-love.  

If someone wishes to improve their appearance and perhaps get a make over. The makeover might need to be an inside job first.  The first thing might be to be kinder to yourself,  forgive yourself all wrong doings as well as forgive others. Don't starve. Find health food that you love so there is not a feeling of deprivation.  Know that we are all precious and our real self is literally divine. Unfortunately we have bought into the criticism and judgements of others.  I remember how critical my mother could be towards me and other people. I observed that she did not like herself very much either.  Some people thought she was very pretty.  She absolutely did not appreciate herself the way others did. She was very pretty.

I was 16 years old when that lady,  who was a stranger, handed me Dr. Maltz's book. That was a miracle that I needed.  I had been looking for answers, and I was starting to find all those resources too. The Universe does help those who help themselves. It was a miracle the way literature fell into my lap.  In the beginning I could not believe that I could achieve things but the end game I wanted was possible.  

That is one thing that is fundamental to realizing dreams. When working towards self actualization and personal fulfillment: believe it is possible.  I was listening to Sheila Gillette say:  Stop waiting for the other shoe to drop and dont believe that you cannot succeed.  The belief that you can do it is just as possible and probable.  I think life has smacked all of us at times.  We believed that we were a shoe in for a job or a raise or an award of some sort.  We tried and did not get it.  Abraham Lincoln ran many times for the senate prior to winning.  Walt Disney could not get a loan for his vision of Disneyland but finally someone gave him a chance.  So we all know those rags to riches stories.  And if not this life time, surely the next.  Why not believe in yourself?  The one piece of advice Abraham/Ester Hicks gives to people is:  Don't share your dream with others.  Often times well meaning others can rain on our dreams. Keep them safe within you. Break dreams up into those doable pieces and celebrate each time you get a bit closer. 

 Ask to see yourself differently.  You might see the sparkle in your eyes that can light up the room if you can perceive yourself differently.  Sometimes we get comfortable with putting ourselves down.  Lift yourself up because you are somebody and you have gifts.  Just ask to see them.  

A recap:  

Measurable goals can be as simple as creating a check list for each day. Try creating a Likert Scale. It can have any amount of numbers like from one to ten.  Did you take a walk today and how good is your frame of mind? Check it off. Today I did do my Yoga, check, and I meditated, check,  and I would say I am at a 9 in my happiness level. Also, I would say I followed my Keto diet 70%. In a column I might comment on what I could do to make it 85% tomorrow. That is motivational interviewing of myself, and it does create insight.  Maybe using a bathroom scale is not the way to go in the beginning. Usually someone's weight will fluctuate and that can be frustrating.  In time those pounds will just fly away without much thought.    

Look for ways to improve your self image. It might be a new hair style or getting your teeth whitened?  Try on clothes that fit and flatter. If you need consensus then ask a friend to shop with you. Most of looking good is the way you feel about yourself.  If your goal is weight loss, then you will want to celebrate all those small changes.  Look at overall health as being a great place to start.  You could end your life early if being scary thin is your goal. My newest goal is just having fun and being confident for all the many things I can do well.  Having fun might be doing some Zumba for 10 minutes a day, reaching out to a friend,  buying some flowers for my home and of-course, blogging.  I love to write.  Some people create a fun list.  Not a bad plan. 

People who are overweight often have other health issues. For me, I am diabetic and finding ways to manage that has been key to lightening the weight I carry. I have already written a great deal on type 2 diabetes. I have a theory that diabetes exits prior to the weight gain and not the other way around. It was discovered that I had gestational diabetes when I was at a normal weight. Also, I believe the infant formula my mom gave me had too much sugar in it.  My mom was not encouraged to breast feed her children.  That was how things changed in the 40's and 50's.  Sugar was in everything.  Did they know? Did they really know how toxic Fluoride was prior to adding it to our water sources? It is proven to lower IQ.  Did the powers that be desire to dumb us down and make us all diabetic?  I have read about operation paperclip.  That would be a whole other essay.  Obesity, Arthritis and Diabetes have become epidemic in the USA and they are all related as well as heart problems.  It is as though there was a master plan.  I don't have to be part of an evil master plan.  In the end all things right themselves.  Knowledge is gained as well as self mastery.  Those guys that tried to dumb us down get to live in the bed they made. 

  I am taking some supplements developed by Dr. Wallach, that give me energy. They give me the right sort of energy from vitamins and trace minerals. It is not that jittery 10 cups of coffee feeling. I just love it. According to Wallach's assessments, the first thing to do was to quit bread.  Gluten is not my friend and it is keeping me from absorbing nutrients. I had to find many of my own answers to living and loving my way to health.  Educating yourself is key to turning things around. There is help with that available.  I am one resource. 

  Once you have better energy, the weight will just drop off.  I remember Ricki Lake, star of Hairspray, saying "they had to feed me milkshakes because I was dancing and loosing so much weight".  It seems criminal that Hollywood producers starve or fatten up actors for the parts they play.  Is anything more important than your body?  Without health there is little you can do but complain. Richard Simmons, fat loss guru, said "food use to be the only friend I had" and that really leads to loneliness.  I read Richard Simmons book years ago, Never Say Diet.  I might be paraphrasing on what I read so do not quote me verbatim.  I love Richard Simmons.

I am recapping but I must add this part. 

  One thing I would love to say to Richard is this:  Get some Dr. Wallach's plant derived minerals and take them.  Richard does Sweating to the Oldies exercise videos. All that sweating is good for the heart, except people loose lots of electrolytes and other minerals when they sweat.   Trust me that will wear out a body and a person might feel worse than their couch potato friends.  Just a little bit of well earned wisdom from me. I developed an auto immune disease from all the activity I was doing. As a young adult I was working and in college and then dating until 3 am sometimes.  I did not know much about nutrition.  I got really sick and was in bed for about 6 weeks.  It was probably mononucleosis. It might be Epstein bar,  but it would come back if I was not careful.  Now they say it probably was Fibromyalgia.  That is the disease of our time.  I went to a Rheumatologist to receive a diagnosis but they did not have a cure for it.  I did discover my cure.  I still have to be careful.   

Ask the Universe to help you see yourself differently. Most people have taken on the perceptions and criticisms of other.  I love Abraham/Ester Hicks and Sheila Gillette as gurus on my relationship to myself.  That is the primary relationship.  There are many other life coaches and self help authors regarding this subject.  

I am at chapter 32 and close to finishing my book.  I am so excited.  Hope you all get something worth while out of what I am writing. 

If you need help visualizing and designing a path to weight loss or another health goal please reach out. I do free health evaluations and do recommend products.  I am here for you. 

just visit my website: 

Angel Bells Guidance

Chapter 30. SPS. Why Did the Red Hen Cross the Road?

 

 To Reach my front door, of course.  There was a bit of commotion outside, and several cats were either an acting entourage or in pursuit of a gorgeous red hen. My front door was open, she walked right into my trailer and then flew to the kitchen sink.  I turned the water on for her and she drank and had a lovely little bath. She was quite at home. I spoke to the neighbors about Ms. Red Hen, and no one knew exactly where she hailed from.  It was quite a blessing to entertain her for a while.  A good home was found for her.

house in Myton, Utah 

The Message of the Red Hen

The work I do is my path.  I like the idea of being part of a collective or a group.  The message had been quite clear that I must climb this hill alone and take creative control of my life.  When I speak of a psychic sisterhood, I am referring to those on a similar path.  I do have a soul group that I have traveled through time with.  This time it is up to me to expand, go it alone, and then reunite with others.

When animals do some unexplained and anomalous things, they bear a message.  I think that this chapter is all about the animal messengers in my life as well as for others.  

Fluffy white cat

As a three-year-old, I remember a gorgeous white fluffy cat. She walked up to me and brushed my leg, but she would not allow me to pet her. She played “hide and seek:” instead.  My mother was at a luncheon with other women, and they were dinning outside. I remember people filming this incident and I even think I remember my mother owning a video called “the cat”.  This cat climbed a tree in front of me and then would disappear and reappear.  For me it was the beginning of a lifelong love of cats.  My parents would not allow me to have a cat due to my asthma.  As an adult, I had many cats in my life and my allergy subsided over time. I could spend an hour or two on each cat I ever owned or each cat that owned me.  There were many tears when they parted and yet the next cat was always just around the corner.  They are magical and quite psychic.  They express an extremely high level of love and self-sacrifice.  They wait patiently for my crossing over to see them again. There is a cat heaven.   

Lucky Ducky encounter

When I was five, I won a duck at the fair.  My big brother handed me a nickel to throw in a plate.  There was a huge problem; I could not see the plate.  In my frustration I just threw that nickel hard and far.  It must have bounced off something because it landed perfectly in a plate.  My brother could not manage landing a nickel in a plate and after the nice lady handed me a carton with my duck inside, we decided to call it a day.   I had won a prize that looked like a little ball of yellow fluff.  I believed it was a girl and named it Kim. We dug a hole up outside with an old used bathing tub as the pond. We put stones at one end so Kim could get easily out. Then my dad built a coup for Kim out of chicken wire. Kim grew to be an exceptionally large white feathered adult. It was part of the family and we just loved it.  One day when I was in kindergarten my parents took Kim to the park and let it go.  Ducks bond with people and I really missed it.  Many years later I had a dream about Kim.  He was wearing a Scottish tam and had a tartan scarf around his neck. I cannot tell you which clan it represented.  Kim was allowing me to meet the misses and all the little ducks that had waddled into the forefront.  Kim loved being a father and being part of a family.  My parents had done the right thing. That was not the only dream I would have of my friend.  I had another dream where Kim was in a barn with a group of animals that said, “I love you Nancy”’ There were all kinds of animals from horses to dogs and birds and of course ducks. All the small kindnesses I had shown to animals over the years were not forgotten nor was anything meaningless.  They were saying that these little things add up in a big way. 

 What About Fish?

My grandpa took me fishing.  Our family had rented a hotel room and a motorboat. We went to Lake Havasupai and most of the trip was wonderful. I loved the lake and being in the speedboat. Grandpa helped me put a hook on the end of the line and cast the line behind the boat.  Suddenly there was a fish on the line, and I was reeling it in when I connected with it.  I saw the look of fear in its eyes and the pain. I did not enjoy that one bit. I asked my grandpa to please let it go but I had the feeling that he was sad that I was sad.  There would be no more fishing trips for me. Fish are just horrified, and they do suffer.  I really should join Peta.

Dolphin encounter

I only was able to feed the Dolphin at Sea World.  I was scared as the Dolphin opened its mouth very wide and it had long sharp teeth. I was amazed how big that mouth was, but I dropped in my offering of little fish.  I touched its skin and there was a cold rubbery feel to that skin, and it did not move away for a few moments.  I did not know which of the many dolphins I had just fed. I was looking through a window and I noticed one dolphin swimming past the window and circling back around to look at me.  It was a brief encounter but a lasting one.  They are so intelligent, and they should not be at Sea World.  They deserve their freedom just like many higher order animals do.

Eagle Encounter

John Denver would be a poor man if he never saw an eagle fly.  I have seen then fly over many times but until one October Day I had never seen one up close and had true eye contact.  My little puppy Goldie had found a trail that went to the town dump.  We lived in Myton, Utah for a short while.  That is where my little red hen experience happened, and more animals will show up from Myton later in this chapter.  The eagle was perched on a low limb of a tree right next to the dump.  I was walking behind my puppy, but she took off running to all those wonderful garbage smells.  I tried to hurry up.  Suddenly, in a second, I was eye to eye with a bald eagle. It spread its wings and looked like about 8 feet of span to me.  We had a moment.  I looked at her and she looked me right in the eye and she looked at Goldie too.  She saw the connection between my dog and me.  With one big whoosh she lifted into the air and took off. It was scary and thrilling all at one time. There was a great deal of intelligence there with that Condor Sized eagle. That is the worry that many country folks face. Living in a small rural town, pets become prey.  Most people don’t even know the fate of their little doggies and kitties.  The eagles and the coyotes are going to look for easy prey and they are successful many times. 

Ferret Encounter and Smokey

Once again, I opened my front door, and a ferret ran in the door and peed in the corner and then hid under my couch.  Ferrets have a musky smell.  We decided to place an add somewhere so the owner could find us.  The owner did show up a day later.  He explained that he had been knocking on doors. I do not want a ferret. Another day we had a huge gray tom cat come in the door.  We offered him water and food.  That was it.  He adopted us.  Smokey had an abscess on his lip. I took him to the vet and the vet gave Smokey penicillin. The blood test revealed Smokey to have feline aides.  I ask the vet if I should put him down?  When I said that; Smokey jumped into my lap and started to hug me.  The vet and I laughed.  Smokey was our best cat. You have heard the saying: you can't herd cats? Yes, well Smokey could herd them.  He was the alpha male. I would ask Smokey to round up the two other female cats fir dinner and he would do that.  Smokey would knock at the door of my home standing behind both cats.  If they attempted to escape his round up he would get on top of them and grab their neck. It was amazing.  He could do things I never saw another cat do. Smokey offered advice to me on several life situations I was in.  He also had an arrangement with our next door neighbor in Phoenix.  I would let Smokey out at night and the neighbor was up early and knocked on the door to let Smokey back inside.  This routine was on going for quite a while until it suddenly stopped.  

Smokey remained with us for about 5 more years and then said goodbye. He said goodbye to my son and to me.  He just disappeared.  We think he went off to die on his own terms.  I felt Smokey jump on my bed.  That means that he was in spirit form.  It was also confirmation that he had transitioned to the cat haven.       

Pigeon, Newfoundland, and Sparrow and Nightingale

My two boys brought home strays all the time.  This bright Phoenix morning they brought home a pigeon.  We took it to the vet because its wing was broken.  The boys nursed it back to health and let it go. 3-year-old Jason brought home a huge Newfoundland. I am not 100% on the breed.  It was a big shaggy dog. A neighbor let us know that Jason was with this dog at the edge of a big canal. The dog would jump in to stay cool.  We had to take it to a shelter to keep Jason in the yard.  Then there was a sparrow that I brought home and hand fed.  It started flying and we took it to the sparrow shelter.  A lady had a back yard sanctuary for all kinds of birds.  It was good to know her. There were many more birds that found refuge with her.   

Just like a Disney movie, these creatures would come visit and the birds sang to me, and the other creatures seem to say words sometimes like “hello”.   A nightingale messenger: I was pregnant with Zak (the big guy with a sparrow on this finger). I had a bad night of tossing and turning and then about 6 AM the most lovely song bird started singing at the bed room window.  There was also a big bull frog in our yard that also started to croaking. Within moments there was a rooster crowing as well.  I call this Goddess Energy. About 6:15 AM I felt like the baby head butted me.  There was a sharp pain in my lower pelvis floor.  My then husband woke up.  We decided to drive to the hospital.  My birth was a planned C section but it had been planned for the 30th.  It was the 29th and the doctor had to cancel all his morning appointments. Years later I was spending the night with a friend when she went into labor. There was a rush of energy that was undeniable. I woke up about 2 AM and told her that I could not sleep due to all the goddess energy.  About 4 AM she went into labor.    

I am a pet psychic too.  I love speaking with pets.  I had one lady who I visited on a regular basis.  She would not leave the house with out her pit bull.  To take her shopping I had to put Emma in the front seat with me on a blanket.  The pit bull, Emma and I talked telepathically on these trips.  We went thru a hamburger drive thru and Emma said that she wanted a hamburger with everything, but she did not like the fries.  She said that she like potatoes but not French fries.  I asked her owner about all this, and it was accurate.  This dog liked cheese burgers with everything but not the fries. She was fond of the potato pancakes that her owner would sometimes make. She especially minded the oil used to fry the fries.  She had a sophisticated palate and she was a precise communicator.  

During those years of social work, I was like Long Island Medium sometimes having conversations with the pets and also loved ones.  I would say: Is your father passed over? I had to ask because the loved one would be standing there grinning.

Since most of my clients had a mental health diagnosis, I wondered if everything I said seemed normal?  I always fit in well with this group of people. Dogs will often spill the beans on their owners.  A dog might show me an image of their owner crying or breaking things.  Dogs and horses are truthful and better than parrots at telling stories. Animals show with emotions and all the senses rather than using words. It is a very accurate way of communicating because we often say words fall short and meanings get lost in translation. Also animals have no filter.  Be cognizant about that.  I believe a good pet psychic could solve a murder mystery just like James Stewart in Rear Window. 

We love you so much.  All my cats. 

SPS Chapter 25: Parallel Universes, Free Will, and Creation: What Do They Have in Common?

 

Chapter 25 in Sara’s Psychic Sisterhood

What do Parallel Universes, Free Will, and Creation have in common?

These three concepts interface all the time.  They respond to a variety of realities that we accidentally live.  Accidentally is a choice but it feels like we did not choose it.  There is a little bit of anthropology in our choices as well as dominate programming.  So, I want to talk about anthropology first.  I want that to be a foundation that explains many human abduction experiences as well. 

Whomever we discover our ancestors to be, we can look at our instincts and tendencies for clues.  It looks as though about 500,000 years ago; we took a big leap.  Lloyd Pye, and other avant-gard researchers of human origins, believe there were “others” in the mix.  Many believe “aliens” known as Anunnaki rearranged our DNA.  They gene spliced us to be slaves.  Along with slave qualities, there were advanced sexual characteristics.  Humans were designed to serve many functions.  This is not new.  This has been tossed around at cocktail parties and group meetings.  This has been mentioned on Ancient Aliens TV show in a watered-down acceptable way.  But there is a place where all the theories can collide.  Our human preferences, choices and desires.  I am going to start with monogamy. Most bird species are monogamous, so it is not just human.  I think it exists for our survival.  They say we are a herd animal. I am not sure we fit that category.  A healthy curiosity is present in most humans.  Like gorillas, the male is going to be larger and stronger to protect the female(s)?  Yes, but then what happens to the monogamy?  This is where Pye brings in the concept of smaller ape like creatures that are close cousins to Big Foot.  They look very human; especially if you are only looking at skeletons.  In fact, Pye and others believe these are the Neanderthals and they don’t have the same ability to articulate words that humans do.  Language was present but not like modern homosapiens with all those nuances.  Down through the 500k years certain instincts and preferences have been established.  Instincts are good in a crisis.  In an emergency you might not have the time needed to contact an “expert”.  In that moment all that our genetic ancestors have lived will be accessible.

There is a rather short list in a crisis. What is the easiest and fastest method to escape?  Will you choose to fight?  Within a second of time your feet are running at a breaking speed.   I am not a jogger, however, I found out I could run when a group of cows decided to charge, and they were fast.  Yes, instinct.

If you read my essay or blog on my abduction experience; good.  The insect being asked many things of me that really went against the grain.  I was one of the thousands if not millions of women that our government allowed to be part of the hybrid program.  The memory was veiled, and I did not go through hypnotic retrieval of this memory.  I just started to remember it about 10 years ago.   It is amazing that our subconscious will try to heal itself of unknown trauma.  These abduction experiences can be the source of unresolved issues and fears.  

There is a polite way to date and decide on a future mate.  The alien agenda side steps all those socially accepted ways of courtship and it side steps parenting.  There is a need for human bonding with mates and children.  Those aliens must have been in a hurry, and it was for their own survival we think.  They rushed up the process in many ways.   Many human hybrid children did not thrive and did not survive.  That tells me that there is a healthy way to have a family.  Our genetics seem to be incredibly wise on that dynamic. 

When you make a choice, do you really have a choice?  When I go into my trance state, it does seem that there are contracts with other people. We all must have known about our present family and the way they would enhance and guide our lives prior to being born.  They say it is a priviledge to be born in this age and time.   This is a challenging time but oh my goodness it is ripe with evolution.  We sit on the edge of a whole new chapter. 

In addition, we can change programs that have existed forever.   There is a martyr program, a suicide program, an adventure program, teacher program, a slave program, and many others.  That is available when there is a mass consciousness shift.   I might have realized that today.  I keep seeing times when I have “changed my mind” and stepped into an alternate reality.  I changed directions and had access to a whole new parallel universe.  When I have done this, I became invisible to some people.  People bump into me and then say, oh I did not see you.  I believe it had something to do with personal growth and not needing old ways and programs.  Today, I was resting when I kept melting into a big picture.  I felt part of everyone and then felt part of the “world” consciousness.  I love that whole experience and it seemed to heal me at a deep level. 

This last week I was having another cold.  Then it turned into a rather miserable flu like situation.  I spoke to my son about it.  We believe we have had Covid 19 several times, but it is a weaker version or at least we experience it as a weaker version.  My body seems to be adapting.  There is a program for adapting physically.  There are so many ways to evolve.  It is not always the strong that survive it might be the weak that inherit the earth.  They might be the more adaptable.

This is where creation becomes very personal.  We all get to decide our next step.  Perhaps way back we did not have much of a choice but now we do.  There are infinite choices.  How wonderful that it.   

Chapter 21. SPS The Problem with Religion

The problem with Religion

My wondering mind and me. OK here is the ride.  I was working on something else when a wave, really a tsunami, of profound thought and deeper inquiry captured my mind. I was open to hearing and the lesson asked me to explore as well.  Instead of just shoveling in a concept I was beaconed to be more interactive.  

Some would say it would be more disciplined to finish my other essay and then devote myself to a new creation.  That is the problem with education and religion. It often remains in a non-expanding box. The sea is calling me and I am catching that wave.  This perfect wave might return but often those ideas and deep duck dives are lost when we don’t go on the journey.  Maybe I should just do the dishes but like the poor, the dishes are always with us. Right?  I should vacuum but my baby begs to be held.  Each new mom learns that.  Right?   

 

I have friends of all religions.  Wonderful people. I was going to say that there are the main ones in my world.  Jewish, Catholic, Buddhist, Mormon. Baptist. My grandmother was a staunch Baptist and I went to summer Bible School most years. I would begin to butt heads with my Grandmother during my teens. I was reading a great deal and there were huge conflicts.

  It seems hard to find people who started out in religious families and remained true to those belief systems.  It is perhaps good to begin in a family that allows the organization of beliefs to create some structure.  Flying without structure might not be wise especially in the beginning.  Flying might require a good compass to prevent getting lost. Yogananda and Sai Baba both refer to our
“ monkey minds” and that meditation requires focus.  Both of those teachers were monumental in helping us “Westerners” expand our perceptions.  It illustrates “religion” in the negative to say Paramahansa Yogananda devotes and Sai Baba devotees would not be comfortable in the same room.   As students they both adhered to a framework of beliefs. To compare those two indoctrinations would require a book the size of War and Peace. OMG.  Just a small essay can barely do that justice and yet both teachers were amazing. Could each religion serve as a concept puzzle piece in a grand mosaic?  There is a bigger picture that allows for all beliefs and designs?  Maybe, but it seems that the rough edges would be smoothed the more enlightened and expanded one becomes.  In context many statements become true.  Jesus said "Whoever is not against us is for us" (Luke 9:50; Mark 9:40). But in another biblical chapter he is quoted as saying: “Whoever is not with me is against me” (Matt. 12:30). In my summary I hope to tie up some loose ends.  

 Is anything really new?

My son painted a group of Sunflowers.  Jason was a magnificent artist.  He could pull deeply from the wealth of his imagination.  His painting is on the top.  And I compare it to Van Gogh’s Sunflowers as well as a vase of real sunflowers. Nothing beats nature? Gorgeous all.  I respond better to Jason’s use of color. It doesn’t seem to matter who painted it as long as it speaks to the heart.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 

 We as creators can draw on all the concepts and make them new just by running them through our interpretation.  We are all divinely inspired.  Abraham/Ester Hicks has said this and I paraphrase; wait until you feel the power of inspiration to do or create.  It is hard to make yourself be creative.  And sometimes it is like watching a parade pass by if you deny that chance to create.  Try catching a wave.  I believe we are all meant to be surfers.  I was listening to Leonard Cohen’s lyrics from Suzanne. https://youtu.be/gUXC_dhQHzY.  For me the sunflowers are the children leaning towards love and like Jesus we all are sailors on a sea that shall free us one day. We will be free when we have learned something that kindergarteners know. I think that is believing in yourself and don’t pay attention to the nay-Sayers.  Perhaps Shakespeare and Cohen embody spirituality beyond religion.  They certainly did ponder the human condition. 

There will be no end in sight for this essay accept to end it.  My grandmother was lying in her hospital bed saying good bye to all of us.  She knew she had very little time left in this world.  My mother did not want to hear it.  My mom said, “you are going to be fine”.  Mom left.  My grandmother said to me, “We have argued over really small things, like religion.  This is the most important message; we love each other and that is eternal.”  I walked out and as I passed by the waiting room I saw her brother sitting there.  It dawned on me that he died 10 years ago.  I had a lump in my throat and guilt too.  I had taken her for granted. She died a few hours later and all the arguing vanished.

Love is the bigger concept.  People will continue to divide over beliefs.  In love we can allow others to grow and develop their own conversation with God.  Neale Walsch said “you got God all wrong”. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0191NE1XI/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 

God will be more and more the next breath we take and less and less an entity out in space somewhere.  At least that is what I think and Neale thinks that way too.  Jesus summed it up when he mentioned the love commandment and doing unto others as we would have done to us.  We have all made mistakes so it is true that no one should cast that first stone.  Let’s see: We are sailors who live in glass houses on a sandy beach?  I think that is good enough. There is no end to the learning and the expansion.   

 

Three generations.  Me, Mom and my Grandmother 1979

Chapter 20: It Is Not God's Fault

I, Sara, have come to witness many odd anomalies in life, and they are the unexpected accidents and unexpected triumphs in the lives of those who seek my counsel.  In all instances I clearly acknowledge destiny and it is not God’s Fault.  Neither the blame nor the glory seems to fit.

I have experienced several near-death events in my now long life. When my foot slipped off a boulder on a cliff, when a shotgun was aimed at my stomach, when there was an anesthesia problem, and I dove into the shallow part of a pool, each time my life was saved and completely saved. When I say completely, I mean no serious injury happened. Except some scratches from the thorn bush that caught me by the seat of my pants during an almost fatal fall, there were few minor injuries.  Since I did a back flip into shallow water, I had one heck of a headache and a goose bump on my forehead.  I looked like a unicorn and left a pool party early.  I must say I have done some “stupid” stuff in my life and a miracle has happened each time. There must be a few more cringe worthy happenings but I will just say I have been incredibly lucky most of the time.

When I had a scary car accident recently, it was amazing.  I was driving along Northern Ave obeying every rule of safe driving when a car came out of nowhere.  The driver was making a left into Star Bucks after several far-left drivers let him enter.  It can be a longer story but, this incident totaled my car and I was quite sore. There were no broken bones and again not too serious. As far as extremely bad incidents go; Nothing compares to the phone call I received on a Saturday in July.  A social worker called to tell me my son had died and was found in his apartment. After that call, all my other problems and complaints seemed ridiculously small.  That call was the dragon that almost slayed me, and I did not think I could go on. To this day, I cannot imagine why my beautiful 27-year-old had left this world. He was happy, healthy, and it was not suicide. He was planning on coming to visit me in Phoenix and his voice message was one of sunshine and optimism. That message got played a thousand times and the one thing I do know is that:  It Was Not God’s Fault.   

If not God, then who is there to blame? Energy, pre life contracts, personal growth for a few starters. Energy is all around us. The most significant energy is like a radio signal from our consciousness. Our being is like a super magnet.  I happen to be a physical medium. Things happen around me all the time.  Objects move without anyone touching them.  I was eating dinner with 4 famous mediums from out of town.  One of our mutual friends had just died of a heart attack. It was just like Lou was sitting at the table. My fork lifted about an inch or two off my dinner plate and then dropped with a clang. My hands were busy in the air as I tend to talk with my hands.  Earlier that day I would find my locked front door standing wide open. I think the fork hitting my plate demonstrated to all present just what energy can do.  My energy, their energy, all of our energies including unseen energy.  

More importantly, words and beliefs hold energy.  When I work with clients using cognitive behavioral therapy, I am looking at core beliefs that might be allowing certain horrible things to happen to them. These are some of the most prevalent beliefs:  I don’t deserve happiness, mom said I would never amount to anything, my minister told me I was going to burn in hell for that terrible thing I did, and God must hate me for allowing this to happen. I often hear people say:  I am waiting to know what God wants me to do with my life. I must say that is so much decision levied upon God and it is believed that This All That There Is Being, and Creator gave us free will? I wonder why we humans would be given free will and then punished for bad choices after we die?  These are the questions that would be processed during any counseling session regarding choices and destiny.  I will jump to the punch line because it would take six years and them some more months to debate this subject.  Humans get the privilege of learning and experiencing a self-directed course. For artists of all types it is like the finished sculpture, the opera and the applause when the curtain falls all in one triumphant symphony. Humans get to be the writer, actor and director as well as the audience and it is extremely fulfilling.  But what about those awful events in our lives? Where is that explanation of why bad things happen to good people? 

I will return to my son’s death, but he is not at all dead, just more energy at a higher frequency. It is not like I can have lunch with him, and I miss him a great deal.  When I was severely depressed, I felt like God was punishing me.  I also felt guilty for his death. I felt angry and wanted to blame someone.  I ran through all those cognitions we speak of in therapy.  I would brighten up and receive some answers.  and then hit a slump in my development and I would be engulfed in these horror stories again. I am doing OK now.  The answer that finally stuck with me was this; I charted a course for myself that had the design of increased love and awareness at its end.  In truth there are many exit points during a lifetime.  At each fork in our road we chose left or right.  I could have died several times as I mentioned already.  My son could have died several times too.  He drove far too fast and had totaled his car several times.  Jason got a hall pass in a way.  He got to leave this world early.  It is a decision that he made with God’s approval, to exit early on.  I did not have a voice in that decision.  I was not happy about that, but that is between Jason and his Creator. 

 As I have mentioned in many posts and blogs, Jason always remembers Mother’s Day.  Each year after Jason’s death I have received a beautiful card placed on my bed.  It has his signature. At first, I thought his brother might be doing this as a kind gesture. No that is not it.  Zac is not a prankster like that. We have talked. The card is always different each year.  The message is also different each year.  There is no point in trying to prove this evidence or ague a case.  There have been volumes of paranormal events in our lives with Jason’s wit and insight and signature energy all over them.  Life continues after the event we call death.  Love does not die, and it is the one thing we take with us beyond the grave.

I have quoted Neale Donald Walsch over the years.  He is famous for many reasons. He wrote the New York Times best seller, Conversations with God, and the subsequent books thereafter. Neale does a great job of exploring who and what God is.  There are many concepts about God.  When Neale was interviewed about God, the television host asked him to sum up God in five words.  Neale said, “You Have Got Me Wrong”.  There are roman gods and pagan gods who seem to meddle in our lives and decide when we should die and when we should have a victory.  There are not enough pages in any book to go over the many faces, names, and beliefs about what and who God is.  There are as many versions as there are people.  Infinite.

 Please do pick up a copy of Neale’s famous discourse.  When I was grieving over the loss of my son, those books are so much a credit to my survival. Neale also has said this.  Jesus prays the Lords Prayer with the congregation, and it begins “our father”.  There is a relationship between us humans and God.  It is closest to a parental relationship.  Would a loving parent send you to hell for a mistake? Can you imagine any parent damming you for all eternity?  Remember Jesus telling us the parable of the prodigal son?  We are precious to God. When we become open to that God reunion there is a celebration and trumpeting angels can be heard.

 There are certain concepts that seem to be universal between all religions. God is loving and cares about us. During my near-death experiences I was amazed by the profound love and enduring relationship I had with God on the other side of my life.  It was like a long lost loved one had returned to me with all the love my heart could hold.  It made the loneliness and sorrow vanish.  God made me a promise and a commandment before returning me to my physical body lying on the gurney, Ask me for help. I am there (on earth) just as much as I am in heaven.  Those are the words I remember.  My time is not done.  I came back here and there is more work to do. 

This discussion could be on going.  My relationship with my Creator is growing and evolving all the time.  I honor the chance to tell my story and to help others realize the power they really have.  You get to decide.  

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