The Glowing Embers of My Camp Fire Girl Days

The Glowing Embers of  My Camp Fire Girls Days

I am dedicating this to Janet Jones, My best Friend and Her Mother Pat Jones, Our Campfire Girl troop Leader.  Pat did an amazing job and bridged an important gap in my pre teen years.  My hat or Indian head band, is tipped to honor people who really made a profound difference in my life.

Thank You is such a puny expression for so much dedication and wisdom.

 My own mother was a leader of our Blue Bird troop and later I joined another troop in Phoenix as a Campfire Girl.  Our school offered both Girl Scouts and Camp Fire Girl affiliations and after school programs.  I am realizing in trying to re-create the nostalgia that I wish I had kept those beads and ceremonial gowns.  Camp Fire Girls was formed in 1910 by a several people who had a summer camp in the forest for girls only.  I believe they should have left it a girl’s only organization.  Since 1975 they have allowed boys to join and the name has changed to Camp Fire USA. 

I believe the younger ones who are known as Blue Birds could certainly be co-ed but even then perhaps it is not a good idea.  I believe that all Camp Fire Girls should receive a sort of Debutant Party at age 16.  After age 16 they are no longer known as Camp Fire Girls.  They need another name that suggests they are now fully emerged as females and there is a rite of passage for that. They have blossomed into remarkable women who can now hold the standard for the younger ones.  It would be desirable for some of the young women to mentor younger sisters as camp counselors. That is the way I remember Camp Fire Girl Camp. We had 17 and 18 year old counselors that were really “cool”.  I believe that females need their own sphere of development and at a certain age there is a preference to be with one’s own sex.  We as girls 8-15 are a work in progress.  We need the assurance that we are not alone with all the transformation we endure.  It is a private club so to speak.  Nature seems to be unveiling our end result at the rate of one small petal at a time and on a need to know basis.  We are evolving and there is mystery and creation in this sacred process.  It is not just hormonal and physical change. Yes, those changes are present and none of us can halt Mother Nature on her triumphant march.  There are psychological changes, and cognitive changes, that perhaps only peers of same sex can relate too.

There is so much gratitude for the organization and the friends I had that I can barely express it.  I want to present a gold medallion to our Camp Fire Girl leader, Mrs. Jones.  She created the best group experience I will ever know.  There are not enough words to thank her and I often wish I could reach all the group members and share poignant memories from our troop.  I was looking on line for some history and found that things have changed and so dramatically. 

I remember the ceremony where we all received our “Indian” gowns.  These were a brown cotton simple dress, but we added buck skin vests and fringe to them.  During the summer ritual ceremonies we used our Indian Names, wore our gowns and head bands with a feather, and received various colored beads for “good works” that we had done.  All things big and small were recognized.  Doing a book report as an individual, to going to sing at convalescent homes (as a group) are some examples of personal goals and group community service that were recognized with beads.  Camp Wamatochic was a place we went for a few weeks in the summer.  It was the absolute best experience.  We either had a group cabin or a group teepee.  The days were full of activities and we slept like logs at night.  I remember being slightly homesick at times and it was nice to get mail.  It is amazing that any of us girl friends would be homesick, but, I guess that comes with the age of being 10 to 12 years old.

I began the walk through my memories when asked a simple question. That question was:  How did I begin my training as a psychic or medium?  I remember our leader, Mrs. Jones, was ahead of her time on some subjects.  She read to us about psychic development and emotional awareness.  She was an avid reader and very creative and intelligent.  She became aware of some literature from articles she read in Reader’s Digest.  Many explorations of the occult and the paranormal were brought up in some of our back yard camp over’s on the weekends.   I became very curious about the occult and began to read and explore on my own.  I also was starting to open more intuitively especially my clairnoyant abilities as a teen age girl.  In every culture it seems there is wisdom sought from a virgin.  I believe that at age 15 I was not only a virgin but my chakras were fully open.  There is a window of time when you hit the highest point and I do think that is prior to the full maturing of a female. Quite accidentally all things came together for my personal development.

They say there are no accidents.  I agree.  The universe brougth teachers to me as this was my life path.  In my next several posts I have other teachers to talk about.  Some I have not thought about in years and I am happy to write about them.

In closing, my heart is full of the best memories and if I could wave a magic wand, it would be to deliver the same enchantment to all young ladies.  We were so very lucky back in the 60’s to have the all girl version of a good organization.

Haunted by Herne the Hunter

Haunted by Herne the Hunter

 

There is an old tale goes that Herne the Hunter,
Some time a keeper here in Windsor Forest,
Doth all the winter-time, at still midnight,
Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns;
And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle,
And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a chain
In a most hideous and dreadful manner.
You have heard of such a spirit, and well you know
The superstitious idle-headed eld
Receiv'd, and did deliver to our age,
This tale of Herne the Hunter for a truth.

Shakespeare

The Horned God Herne, also known as Cernunnos in Celtic Literature, has long been a fascination of mine.  I did not seek out the early experiences with the God of the Forrest. I will tell my tale of our first meeting, but first some background. In the Celtic religion of Hinduism, Cernunnos is known as Rudra, or again a part man part animal deity who resides as Lord of the Animals in the wilderness.  Sanskrit is the oldest of all Celtic languages.  We can trace most Celtic tribe migration by the off springing tongues that are, in part, Sanskrit. In all mythologies of the Horned One, he is cast out from the pantheon of Gods and dwells alone.  In some legend’s he hangs himself from an Oak Tree.  Odin of Norse mythology also rode a black steed on a wild hunt and was not a good omen or portend.  There is an Island, between Norway and Iceland, where every nine years the Vikings met for a sacred rite.  One Viking was chosen by lottery to be hung.  Each nine years a sacrifice was made to Odin, or God of the Gallows.  Of-course then there are the satyrs of Greek myth such as Pan. All these animal gods are considered rather spooky and out there on the social fringe.  That is probably why the early Christian Church chose the goat man with horns to represent the devil.  We can’t be sure where all the superstitions came from but I find it interesting that most pagan traditions have similar “gods”.  They say that God has a thousand names and faces and that appears to be true of the Thunder Gods, Indra, Zeus and Thor as well as all the hundreds of names for the Horned One.  The concepts are similar and seem to be varied in appearance and perhaps the duties performed. 

          I was a bit drunk one night many moons ago.  In fact I might have been about age 20.  I had left a party in favor of solitude.  The full moon was calling me and I walked through a park at night.  I sat on a bench and then realized the tree was talking to me.  This was amazing and dream like.  The tree told me it was “God” and it did appear to be full of wisdom.  I can barely remember the message I received because there was a rustling and a saw a man approach.  I was not scared as I might have been.  I knew it was an out of body experience.  He was half human and half furry animal.  I did not see any horns but he was very handsome and smelled like herbs and flowers and fresh mowed grass. He was accompanied by fairy orbs of light.  I felt great power and vitality coming from him.  In a way it was like being recognized by nature and realizing you are welcome and protected.  It seems that the wild creatures have never been a problem for me.  I can’t remember ever being bitten or threatened with fangs when walking in a forest alone at night.  Sometimes it seems the spirit of the Oak is trying to tell me something if I would slow down for a bit and sit beneath it.   There are messages all around me if I chose to hear and then appreciate them.    

Wishing all a good Samhain!  Or Halloween!  There is a night when the veil is thin between two worlds.   

Big Joy in a Little Chapel

Big Joy in a Little Chapel

and...Big Joy at a Pumpkin Festival...and Happy Halloween Everyone!

Once a month the Little Chapel in Paradise Valley has a healing service and today I attended for the very first time.  The morning found me stiff and sore and I almost decided to roll over and go back to sleep. Yesterday I had a runny nose and was thinking OMG I don’t want a cold virus…not now. Thank goodness I had map quested my driving route last night and showered or I don’t think I could have made it on time.  Once there I was so impressed by the spiritual energy and lovely décor and apparent abundance.  The music was a treat and very professionally done.  What I wasn’t prepared for was the healing I received.  My whole body heated up and I felt like my neck was melting.  The pain I have learned to live in my neck is something I rarely speak of.  I try to ignore it and hope it will leave.  I don’t wish to invite it back either.  Right now I have full range of motion in my neck and shoulders. I think after a car accident they discovered degenerative disc disease in an X-ray.  There are a few other areas on my body that felt heat and movement. The first place I felt great heat was in my head and sinuses. Also a few of my back molars were tingling and warm.   I felt like my kidney was moving around.  This was an intense healing and then I had an emotional healing.  I could not stop smiling.  I had a goofy grin all day long.  People will think I’m in love.  Well, I am in love with how I feel right now. 

I live in Phoenix and had never heard of this small chapel where healing miracles happen all the time.  I had lunch with people who had flown in from all over the USA to be at this service.  There was a lady from Memphis who flew in for this one service.  She had heard Sara O’Meara many years ago in Los Angeles at a Spiritual Convention.  Paradise Valley is a suburb of Phoenix. During Sara’s talk prior to the healings I received a great deal of insight from my Angels and Guides that probably helped to open me up towards a more receptive healing state.  To believe one can be healed is just as important as asking to be healed.  I totally believed it. I also received the big picture of why we are here.  All the little lessons we learn either the hard or soft way add to our growth.  That growth is all about our God/Self relationship.  It is for our soul to keep evolving toward greater love and greater intimacy with God. I also saw that some of my health issues were from being closed off to the current.  If you walk past a stagnant pond you will see moss and leaches.  Even though nature will correct its eco system for my body deposits and plaque are not a good thing and I need to revitalize with a stronger current.  Another realization for me was sometimes I try and take short cuts.  Slowing down and making a ceremony out of tea time is a great idea.  There is danger in the pace at which some of us travel.  Some of these concepts were crystal clear and I realized to effective remain pain free and healthy I should join the current and then ebb and flow to be in more balance.  Even weight loss will happen more easily now. 

 I would love to share the address.  I believe one must write to Sara or Nick Bunick in the form of email or letter first and an invitation arrives that one must RSVP to.  I realize that is not ordinary and this is no ordinary church.  I believe this might be the best kept secret in the Valley of the Sun.

I can share a link:  http://www.nickbunick.com/sara-omeara

From there let the spirit guide you.  You might receive spontaneous healing from some of the You Tube videos they do as well.

To living life and living it more abundantly, Cheers, click glasses and may you be well,

Thanksgiving where the Buffalo Roam

THANKSGIVING WHERE THE BUFFALO ROAM

                       I give thanks for the Buffalo that have returned to North America

There are many untruths told regarding our indigenous people of Turtle Island (North America) and Thanksgiving is not a Native American friendly concept.  The truth reveals a much more self serving agenda of the European Puritans.  Clearly the Puritans would not have survived without the help of their Indian neighbors. New England winters can be very harsh.  From the Puritan perspective, some of the provision they brought from overseas were shared as well.  There was a true sharing of resources and cultures and that is significant.  I wish our European/Indian relationships could have survived on that way.  I think greed got in the way. 

 I feel it is a good idea to explore how both traditions came to be in existence and maybe we can choose to be thankful every day for all the beauty in our lives.  A feeling of gratitude is a positive experience and it can be done without deifying God.  In other words I do not Thank God because he is a human like God who needs my worship, however; there is so much I receive that I had little to do with.  Gratitude is for all the generations that have given us Freedom and a voice.  At my table I give thanks for having loved ones in my life.  I am thankful for all my relations. This is time to list the many things I appreciate about them and the wonderful food we are about to share without religious dogma of any kind.  Many Pagan cultures had a day of celebration after the harvest season. They were thankful for the food that would carry them past the winter months.  Spring was sometimes the starving season and it corresponds to the Catholic lent season.  Many of the foods stored for winter were now gone and crops were just being planted.  Many families found this to be a struggle.  During this time hunting parties were often formed to bring back game.  Wild lettuce and herbs would be added to a broth as well as ground corn meal and dried beans to make soups and stews.  In a new land learning to eat new vegetables and enjoy new and different game was important to the survival of our ancestors.  My ancestors were both European and Native American.  I am a blend of cultures.  I remember the love I felt at family reunions with the more Native branch of my family.  The Verdi River was seined (only the men held a net and formed a line walking up stream) for trout and cornbread and beans were served.  On my great uncles farm was a huge pumpkin patch and we took several home when we left. Children were enjoyed and held.  The other branch seems to be more from Switzerland and they came to America (1704) as religious refugees called Mennonites.  They were very similar to the Puritans and Quakers. As a small child I felt a chill in the air around them.  Children were to be quiet and sit politely and were reprimanded for any playfulness.  I don’t have good memories of this.  I love all my relatives of course, but seemed to thrive better in the other more loving family.  The family lie:  To homestead property in Texas one must be “white” back in the 1800’s.  My Cherokee/Irish ancestors a certainly were part white and they started calling themselves “dark Dutch”.  I think it was necessary for their survival to throw off any prejudice that existed at that time.  My great uncles could walk into an Indian Pow Wow for free.  They had good tans perhaps?  No, because non Indians had to pay money to attend and these men were very honest about that sort of thing.  Regardless of who the ancestors are, I am most grateful for having two cultures to compare and all the values that I hold dear come from shifting through memories.  For those memories I am most grateful every day of my life.

Sex and Solutions for Monkey Minds

Sex and Solutions for Monkey Minds

(so many pictures, He picked this one)

Sai Baba used to say some of us have “monkey minds” and that is different than mere libido.  I was a Sai Baba devotee for many years and Baba is still in my heart.  I will always love Sai Baba. Monkey Minds: Usually he was referring to the short attention span of some people.  They jump from subject to subject. If you read my blog then you know I can have a similar tendency.  Eastern religion is sometimes riddle with mixed sexual moral messages.  Western Religon also has its mixed messages. The Puritans that founded Protestant morals in early America were fighting a constant battle with themselves over pleasures of the flesh.  When it comes to human sexuality there is much confusion for some of those trying to live spiritual lives.  My guides say: Having sex does not interrupt a spiritual path unless there is injury to self and others in the doing of it.  It is not sex itself that is ever a real problem; however, there are certainly problems associated with sex.  Edgar Cayce said it is a sacred act of joining.  Even if people decide to do this joining in a casual way, it is best to leave all parties in a sacred place.  I think of a story with a bride and groom who died shortly after their wedding.  Actually, I was thinking of the newly wedded John F. Kennedy Jr. and his wife Carolyn.  They had only been married a short time when JFK small plane crashed over the ocean while trying to land.  I have always suspected foul play with that.  There was the suspicion that the gas gage was made to look full even when it was not.  It was a short flight and JFK was an experienced pilot.  I cried all over again about his death as well as his marvelous Father’s. Gone but not forgotten.

 Getting back to the point at hand, the duration of a romance the honey moon cut short as it were, does not diminish the sacred act of a man and women coming together in a glorious union.  This union might even produce a little one.  There could be nothing more sacred in this world.  So why is everyone so afraid to discuss this subject?  Where do all those “dirty” feelings come from.  Why do we blush and avoid this area of discussion with our teen agers?  And most importantly why do parents fear sex education for their kids?  There is so much research now that suggests that open and robust conversation is one of the best deterrents of premarital pregnancy and any issues that might arise around that. 

 I remember my father was uncomfortable talking about this but he was forced into “the talk” one evening when I came home from a date.  I was telling him that I almost lost control of my body during this date and that I was not even that fond of the young man I went out with.  My father decided it was not in my best interests to be unaware of erogenous zones and hormones.  With teenagers they often have a head full of sexual myths.  My myth was a piece of shared wisdom with other teen age girls.  Keep all activity above the waist on your first date.  I can’t believe that was what I believed and how it almost cost me my virginity.  Virginity must be lost at some time and hopefully it is when the road ahead looks like a smooth placid one, with no broken hearts emerging.   Notice I did not say on one’s marriage night.  Each can believe what they wish but marriage is a big commitment and looking back I don’t think marriage vows should have anything to do with romance or sex. Perhaps that is why parents arrange marriages in other parts of the world.  There is so much to consider.  If a couple wishes to begin a family they are stepping into an area of great responsibility and an enduring parenting partnership.  Be sure that you really like this person and trust them for they will be in your life for a very long time.  Romance may come and go. 

And with romance it changes over time.  I don’t believe in force with sex.  That means even in the marriage chamber, there should be no force.  Joy is all that should be exchanged with this sacred union.  There are methods of birth control and every teen should be able to access birth control.  This type of education saves lives.  No one can predict romance, and if it stays for a very long time that is wonderful, and if not then wave good bye to what will become a cherished memory.  Either way it is a blessing.  There are many ways that sex can be a tool of manipulation by either party.  I think knowing how to avoid that sort of manipulation should be part of a sex education health class.  Your body is your own and your heart needs protection sometimes too.  No form of birth control is perfect and if pregnancy does occur I hope it is viewed as the gift it really is.  Life in bloom should never be a sad and or tragic experience.  With enough well rounded education we hope that no baby is ever considered an accident. 

There are volumes of books on human sexuality and yet it remains a mystery, a portal to creation and sanctuary, a bond that is sometimes unbreakable and an avenue of enduring joy.  Perhaps we never will completely have it all mapped out.  There are some unknowns to discover.  Gotta love it.

The Time of My Life: My Near Death Experience

The nurse was calling my name but I was having the time of my life on the other side. I was not responding to the nurse. I did not want to come back to earth and why would I?  I was full to the brim of happiness and freedom and every thing made perfect sense. All those nagging existential questions were non existent.  I knew it all.

How did this begin? I remember that buzz and spin in my head as the anesthetic went into my vein. This was minor surgery and no one had considered any real risk would apply to me. As a healthy young mother, 32 years old, there were no medical issues to cause concern. As I lay there in recovery, I knew someone was calling my name over and over and over. I simply did not want to come back to consciousness. When my name was called the last time, I was arguing with God.

 The Almighty was present in light and in a fatherly voice that seemed to come from everywhere. In my experience he did not have a face or human form but He was superb debater. The debate was an emotional plea on my part: I was begging not to be returned to my sleeping body. I had been very unhappy for quite a while. I would argue," I don't want to leave you now that I have found you." God would reply, "I can be with you there (the physical world) too. You are the one who must open the door." Now, I wonder why I had not opened the door before. Maybe I was simply unaware that action was required on my part. Maybe I was not cognizant of my own free will and the need to take affirmative action. But, Here I was swimming in the ecstasy and joy of love fulfilled.

There was no more suffering; the love I had hungered for was filling me to the brim. Along with drinking in this delicious love, I was also in total awareness of who I was. During my incarnation as Nancy, I only knew myself the way others had perceived me. It is amazing to see yourself so clearly.

Perhaps the most incredible part was acknowledging a relationship that seemed primal, ancient and crucial. In my present theology of God, I would tell people that I believed in a "Higher Power". God was over yonder somewhere in the universe, remotely interested in me. This new presence was intimately involved with my true self. I felt so lucky to be experiencing all this and did not want it to ever end! As I pleaded to stay, I was greeted with the kindest of explanations: I was told, by God, that He would be there (back home in the real world) also. I was thinking that it would not be the same. The answer went something like this: Open the door. Ask for this, remember this. You will not be alone.

 I did not want to go back and face the many challenges in front of me. My marriage was on the rocks and I had two small children. There appeared to be no easy answers to my dilemma. My God, understood, that it was not a walk in the park. It was emphasized that I should not miss out on any experience because, the opportunities are golden. I was shown something of the future. It was like a movie of my life movie fast forwarded. I can remember very little except that it satisfied me that I would surmount my present obstacles and even taste some highly treasured moments as well. I did get the feeling this is not something I want to miss. Looking back on this conversation I realize my version of God was a very skilled debater. I was not going back real easy. This last discourse was the easiest to remember, because God and I were being interrupted by someone calling my name. It really bugged the crap out of me that she kept calling my name. I was sure I might just snap at that poor nurse once I was awake.

When I opened my eyes, the nurse was enveloped in a halo... and I looked at her and said, oh, you are just so beautiful. She smiled. I could almost hear her thoughts: they all say the strangest things when coming out of surgery. I could feel that she thought of herself as average looking and not all that attractive. I grabbed her hand and looked deep into her soul and said, "you really are beautiful!" She teared up just a little and walked out of the room. Everyone I looked at seemed so wonderful. I had the deepest felt love for them.

 When I got home and held my two little boys in my arms, I felt so very lucky for their presence in my life. I then started to feel a bit guilty... I was ready to leave them. That was 20 years ago. Many of Life's "golden moments" have been experienced and I think there are some yet up the road for me. There are good days and bad days. This one experience happens to trump all other experiences as being unique and life changing. I will not open this to debate about the validity of my experience. Was it an illusion? The fact that it still sends goose bumps up my spine and to this day makes me a little "home sick" for that other world, speaks to its validity. And yes, the "Door is wide open" since that day.

ASMR: My Early Memories

My Mental State is Tingling

(a wealth of pumpkins)

I am listening to ASMR tapes and relaxing.   ASMR is an acronym for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. The ASMR-Research dot Org site offers the definition: The pleasurable response felt by a tingling that begins in the head and scalp, and often moves down the spine and through the limbs. I remember experiencing this nice sensation when my Great Aunt Elsie would visit my Grandmother. There are perhaps too many ways (if that is possible) that she showed kindness towards me as a small child.  I loved her.  She would stroke my hair or brush it when she visited and I would have goose bumps up and down my back.  It was a nice feeling.  She would French Braid my hair and I could not wait to go to second grade with my hair like that.  She let me drink coffee.  I am sure it was mostly cream.  She taught me how to do needle point and other crafts during her stays.  During most of her adult life she was a beautician and owned her own shop in Eastland, Texas.  She and her husband were childless and I found that rather sad.  She devoted her love and time to all the nieces and nephews in her life and we were blessed that she was devoted to us.  There were always cards with money in them for our birthdays and she was there when we graduated from High School and other life events.  The thing I remember about her was her calm and healing nature and the ASMR experience she seemed to evoke within me.  Some people have a gift of healing and I always appreciate those gentle people.  When Jesus speaks of the meek inheriting the earth, I think of those who are full of inner calmness like my G-aunt Elsie, and they deserve the earth. Those lovely creatures are such a nice contrast to the angry hostile people who we sometimes run into.  There was another experience of ASMR as an adult.  A young female was selling personal care products door to door.  I allowed her to come in and she remained in my living room showing me her product line for about an hour.  I remember offering her tea and cookies.  I wanted her to stay because she was triggering so many pleasure responses for me. Her voice and the gentle way she demonstrated her products was a pleasure fest.  I was a little embarrassed later when I thought about it.  Did she know the effect she had on me?  I was enchanted and wondered if there was something about feeling that way that was "wrong" somehow?  In some ways it seems like a guilty sexual pleasure.  I don't think it is exactly sexual.  I would not compare the nice sensation of my aunt brushing my hair or getting a shoulder massage to sexual attraction anyway.  It might be a close cousin in some ways. It is almost better than sex as far as the healing and relaxed feeling that it allows.  

How lucky we are for You Tube.  By accident I found some people who make ASMR videos and post them for free.  These people create that relaxing mood and share it.  They are almost as good as my aunt at evoking brain tingles too.  It is wonderful that there is relaxation available that is non medical and no one even need touch you.   There are certain types of voices and certain sounds that also trigger the tingles for me.  The binaural  recordings of paper and opening jars and other sounds seem to trigger me.  I also responded well to Maria, Gentle Whispers, role play of a customer service person showing medical products.

There are many types of abundance and some of them create wealth and wholeness without spending physical money. My inexpensive spa day starts with brushing my skin before a shower, lighting a scented candle, doing some yoga deep breathing and stretching, wondering what nice thing I can do for someone else today, writing a small piece for this blog while drinking a cup of coffee with lots of cream in it.  Then I can do those “chores” that need to be done and come back home to watch an ASMR video to detox from the world outside.  I have been a procrastinator in my life and this type of virtual spa world helps me face the things I really don’t like doing.  I try to think through the experience prior to actually going and doing something.  Sometimes I am afraid to check my bank account.  It sounds silly but I am always shocked and depressed when it gets low.  It is like cold water in my face.  I tell myself I have another “real” bank account out there.  God’s bank account and that one is always full with no overdraft protection needed.  That is oddly reassuring and I followed that idea up with a fun exercise from the book “Ask and It is Given” by Ester Hicks.  I have an extra check registry and some blank checks that are not coded for an account.  She says to deposit 1000 dollars in that account and virtually spend it every day.  That means I can go window shopping and look inside expensive restaurants and decide how to spend this play money.  It gets me out of the poverty state of consciousness.  Everyday there is going to be a deposit from God and the Universe and everyday all I have to do is enjoy that money and spend it.  If I don’t spend it all then it clogs up the flow of this virtual money.  Money is another thing that makes me tingle and replacing old clothes and shoes is a way I like to enjoy it.  Paying someone to do a shoulder massage and brush my hair would be nice money shedding as well.  I must shed that money.  See how that prevents that scary closed fist feeling?  For me it is part of my virtual well being.  

The devil lurks in the form of fear and a scary Halloween Mask

 When I get deep into my well being and flow with this nice relaxed state of being it seems my ego wants to jump in with worry.  I used to be an expert at worry.  I must do an assignment today; that is true. There are children going hungry and that is a sad and anxiety producing thought.  There are many not good thoughts that can lower the energy I am sporting.  My advice is get proactive so you don’t feel guilt and sadness.  If there is a local charity then devote some time and money to being involved.  There are many wonderful causes.  I try to not overload myself on causes. One or two is enough and then it is a more quality experience in the practicing.  I am not here to dish out advice, but all I am saying is that seems to work for me.  I cannot improve the life of one child by being depressed and upset about it:  On the other hand I can make a positive move by giving part of my real and imagined resources to help a child. 

In parting, I will be glad for the presidential election to be over.  Every day get emails asking me for more money to support this campaign.  Enough!  That is causing a frown-y face.  I need to do extra Yoga breaths now and find a nice video on You Tube. My well being is paramount to living the live I desire. 

The Toughness of Tall White Alien Mothers

Tall Alien Mothers Are the Best!

These tall whites are not the same as the Nordics or Pleidians.  They are intimidating in many ways.  And with some adjustments they can go out among us.
 

In one of my previous posts regarding Charles Hall and his discovery of the Tall White Aliens of Dreamland, Nevada. I had suggested reading his memoir which is 4 volumes long.  I read all 4 books of Millennial Hospitality and could not put it down. I became addicted to reading for a full hour before bed and then couldn’t wait to crawl into my comfy blankets and read again.  It was a millennial tragedy when it all ended. The name of the book eluded me until I had thought about it for at least a year. I mean why name these memoirs "Millennial Hospitality"? I suppose it is because this tall white alien race has been stopping and shopping here with their extended families for thousands of years.  Apparently they like to be here during the summer months and they rest and refuel and then take off for their final destination in some other quadrant of the Universe.  They mention Arcturus as a home base star.  They say it is one of the brightest stars in the night sky.  At 37 light-years from earth it does seem doable that they would travel here and stay for a bit and then travel on.  They mention that space travel is quite different once we transverse out of our solar system.  In other words there might be holes and short cuts that we have no knowledge of.  It takes them about 4 months to travel home..not years.

Our military is allowed to take them home and come back.  They have been helping the military in some ways. Hall reported seeing these Tall Whites meeting with our top Generals. It seems beneficial on many levels but don't get too comfortable yet.   The females who raise the young ones can be quite violent if provoked.  It appears they have a short fuse where human aggression is concerned.  These visitors bring their families and their children.  They have very long life spans (six hundred years).  They sleep in 16 hour shifts and then they are awake for about 36 hours.  The little ones take naps if out with their parents exploring the Nevada country side.  They usually travel in a hover craft the size of a school bus but more aerodynamic looking.   It is capable of traveling about 300 miles an hour if needed.  I was run off the road by one.  It looked like a huge gray white truck, taking up both lanes when I pulled off the road just in time and then it took to the air off road.  It was going at an incredible speed.  I was on a mountain road in Arizona and there was just a small shoulder to pull over on.  I have seen them and I was a bit on edge.  They do not appear friendly but I understand that is slowly being improved upon.  They move faster than us and appear to be more impulsive reports Hall.  I just think they hog the road. 

I had a picture here of what I thought a tall white would look like when they tried to dress in trendy human clothes and pass for us in Los Vegas.  I got a comment that it was a mannequin so I removed it.  This person was like "there you have it, a mannequin".  Well no, I just was looking for images to illustrate what Charles described.  He never took any photos in the presence of Tall Whites.  So really it is hard to say what they actually look like but it is not human.  Charles got chills the first time he saw them.

 

The females would tell Charles that they love their children much more than earth mothers do.  I, for one, took exception to that statement then I thought about it. Look at  all the mothers who allow their sons to fight in the military in foreign countries.  We don’t even understand why our children must be stationed there and we trust the reasons are good ones.  We have been lied to since Veit Nam as far as the real reasons we send our precious young sons overseas.   Moms might question the real motives, but they do not confront the military powers that be with extreme violence like a Tall White Mother would do.  If her child is threatened in any way…the human doing so dies  or wishes they were dead. There is little debriefing on what went wrong.  You do not intimidate alien children even when they are being inappropriate by our standards.  One small boy was going through an airman’s lunch bag to see what a big human eats for lunch.  Charles mentions the children looking through his duffel bag at his belongings. Curiousity is expected and even encouraged with the Tall White Kids. The Airman made the mistake of yelling at this little boy who was going through his lunch and then had to be hospitalized after Momma zapped him. 

Talk about strong female presence, they are certainly equipped to kill and with impunity. One Tall White Alien Mom accidentally shot Charles with an iodine scrambler weapon.  He nearly bled to death from his thyroid gland.  He was quite luckily to recover.  I guess he was starting to walk towards an alien he named Pam and she told him to stop, but the speaker on the translator was not functioning properly.  He kept walking toward her and she interpreted that as aggression.  It was a matter of error in translation.   Hall explains that although these visitors have superior weapons they remain rather fragile in this type of gravity.  If a Tall White breaks a leg or any bone on earth they must go home or to a planet with a heavier gravitational field to heal properly.  They are afraid of injury when dealing with us.  They also see us as emotional and irrational at times.  That is why I think his book has the word Hospitality in it.  We are dealing with a different culture and different rules.  The only problem is if we get it wrong, we could be history. 
 

I keep thinking how we as earth Moms need to be more vocal on policy and our opinions.  Once had a boyfriend that was not being good to my children and I got rid of him. (For that and other reasons) Since being in social work I realize how many mothers will keep a male around who is abusing their kids.  That is unthinkable.  I always believed my boys when they reported bad behavior.  I found the evidence to support that too.

I guess it is time to re-think that being a Mom is a subordinate thing.  We must stick up for our kids if we wish for them to have a long non traumatic life time.  I think it might be mothers uniting that finally bring peace to this planet.  We have a stronger vested interests in our children and our future grandchildren.
 

The Tall White Mothers might scare Charles Hall, and 4 Star Generals to bone, however they make a valent protectors for their small children. Being tough and strong as a mother might be a good example for as earth moms.

I am in the Eye of the 2012 Storm

Eye of the 2012 Storm

 

I feel the heightened awareness of 2012. Like a huge tsunami it builds with our combined human desire for change.  I have adjusted to the gathering intensity and the realization that we are at war.  This is the good guys/bad guys war, however the players are not who and what you would think.  They are not the usual suspects.  There might be aspects of ourselves that need to be elevated and brought into harmony.  I feel the increasing need to become vegan or at least vegetarian.  I have always felt that eggs and dairy are probably alright if the farm animals are treated with respect and kept healthy.  Of-course the bigger issue is many of the cows are sick and kept in unclean stalls and they are milked anyway.  Samplers have found puss and blood in diary milk.  Yuck. Maybe vegan is not so bad after all.  As humans we will need to tread more lightly on Mother Earth.  There is a great deal of protein in grains and beans and nuts.  In fact it is far better for our metabolism to eat that way.  The kindness we send out to all life will circle back around to save us in the end. I might wish to eat the occasional salmon steak.  Again I think it is a matter of being humane about the way we take the lives of animals and how we treat them on the farms.

 I had a great opportunity to demonstrate kindness when I worked at a residential mental health clinic.  I had 16 schizophrenic patients. I loved them all and in fact felt that if they were treated better and accepted they might be able to at least work part time.  They seemed to be improving.  One of my clients found a little baby sparrow.  It was on the ground and probably its parents were trying to feed it from the ground.  We also had two stray cats who were taking interest in this sparrow.  One of my clients brought the bird to me and ask if I could help.  I thought about it and decided in the interest of fostering trust and well being I should probably say yes.  I called an organization called “For the Birds” who advised me on how to feed this tiny creature.  First they said do not put an eye dropper of water down its throat.  You will drown it.  Their lungs are so small.  I gave two clients permission to walk to the store and buy a watermelon.  With tweezers we fed the birdie little pieces of water melon.  Then had to pick up a grain type of formula and a small syringe and feeding tube.  My son became involved at home as well.  Our little charge would wake at the break of dawn quite hungry.  I took our little patient to work where the clients fed him.  Finally the little sparrow took flight and flew around the room after about one week.  Then we took him to a bird refuge. My supervisor was upset about having the bird at work but she finally admitted it was a good experience.  Remember my message in a bottle for the Alpaca farm.  Animals and nature are very good healers for those with Schizophrenia and depression. 

Animals are connected with God and their group souls to the point that they do not fear death.  They fear it enough to run away but they accept it.  As humans we have forgotten the spiritual half of ourselves.  The bigger better part of us is non physical and as such has a great part to play in how happy we are here on earth.  This is why. 

I live in Arizona, yet I am looking at that storm brewing off the California coast and I already know that I need to have my umbrella with me today.  It will not be long until we are hit with a pretty good rain storm and wind.  It is overcast right now as I write.  My human ego self does not have the broader view of what is coming.  Even though my human ego likes to worry and plan, it is a big energy waster.  Learn to trust the Bigger More Expansive Part of You.  In a sense that is God.  We do not need to know everything while we are on earth.  Leave it to your Bigger Better Half to tell you which way to turn and what to do instead of carrying around big heavy atlas books.  My Eternal Half knows a storm is brewing and it will guide me.  All I need to do is trust.  Having radical trust is the 2012 message.  Learning to listen to your own guidance is imperative. 

Prayer of Gratitude

I am so grateful this evening and I need to write a short post for the triumph I feel in my heart.

I truly witnessed the power of God today in delivering me and lifting me up.

 I was not feeling well and as many of you have been reading, I am still under the weather recovering from toxic mold.  Some days I feel good and like I have turned a corner and I am winning.  Out of the blue I got sick once again, my throat hurt, my lung hurt, and heck my whole body hurt.  It is like a carnival ride going up and down. 

I was in class all week end and had a presentation to do.  I prayed that my presentation would show my classmates the Power of Love and the Power of Source.  I prayed to remain healthy and energetic enough to do a really terrific presentation.

That was important to me.  I was the last person to give my talk and I felt a power come over me.  I can barely remember what I said, but my teacher and classmates were genuinely moved.  The presentation was on Motivational Interviewing.  This is not a strong subject for me.  I felt very weak in this techniques and I also felt a huge pull to be good at it. 

Anyway I was demonstrating techniques and compassion and empathy and it seemed like all the pieces fit into place for me. 

I want to remember this day all my life.  It felt great to do well and have experienced a High Energy while "performing" in a sense, for a group of people. 

Just saying Thanks.

www.nickbunick.com

If you have a chance to read any of Nick's books, please do.

I Tried to Reach Brad Pitt About Funding an Alpaca Farm

As though he is easy to reach. Heavens no, but, Brad and Angelina Jolie are philanthropists and I shamelessly admit to needing funding help.  They are not the only two I was trying to reach. I found a list of organizations and foundations.  I have a splendid idea for those with mental illness and alternative therapies beyond medication.  Many of the medications prescribed for mental illness are used to sedate certain types of brain chemistry and ease certain symptoms.   Most of these medications are toxic long term.  I really don’t expect the big pharmaceutical companies to do anything but exactly what they are doing in the way of research.  Short term perhaps there is benefit but people start to experience a decline in health after taking psycho pharmaceuticals for a long time.  Those pills were never meant to cure anything: They are there to help people manage symptoms.   I don’t expect our managed care for mental health to move out of the give them pills therapy programs.  Many of our mentally ill people are out on the street homeless and their life expectancy is short.  As far as I can tell few elected officials understand or care.  I think it is a matter of education.  I don't want to blame anyone or accuse them of heartlessness.  Unless you have a precious loved one who is handicapped by mental health issues, it is hard to understand and it is hard to know the best course of action even when you do understand.  I am a veteran of all these woes.  I have both loved ones in my family and have worked professionally in the mental health field.  I care deeply.

We have voted away the nice comfortable treatment centers.  It is difficult for anyone to voluntarily or involuntarily stay at a hospital or treatment center because the funding was pulled for them.  The plug got pulled.  Usually it is families that deal with their mentally ill members now.  If you care about a loved one then you now get to be the care taker.  This leads to an overburdening of a family member who probably works, takes care of an elderly parent and now has their brother or adult child return home to live with them.  Recently when social security realized my loved one loved with me, they wanted to reduce the already pathetic amount of disability that person receives.  Again, it seems to be the attitude and lack of education of what can help.  Many people with mental health issues can work and are very intelligent, but, they will not get hired due to their appearance and behavior.  With the right sort of employment and supervision many could work.  It would be a very flexible arrangement.  If someone is distressed and hearing voices, they need not show up that day.  If they are wanting to be creative, there might be an addition job or venue for that.  Yes, it would be like working for a family business.  Most employers do not allow for this type of disability.  Someone in a wheel chair with stable mental health is a bit more predictable.  Some of our most creative individuals were bi-polar.  There is a long list of writers, composers, and artists throughout time that have reached for new heights and had such unique vision.  Anyway back to my hoped for farm...

I would love to find a nice retreat atmosphere and try some new non medical therapies.  I think my retreat could be self sustaining with a organic garden and the sell of art that patients create.  I think many people in treatment might envy Van Gogh for the lovely clinic that the nuns provided out in the country during his lifetime.  The garden is also another form of therapy.  I would like to try some interventions that are accepted best practice but not invasive and not chemical in nature. 

Needing money is not the only hold up.  I need a community of mental health staff to get on board.  When bouncing this around others (called brainstorming) it was suggested that having Alpacas and making yarn to make woven art would not be a bad idea.  I had a close friend who had her own sheep and sheered them and died the wool and wove handbags.  They were awesome and they sold for $500 USD each.  Amazing and true! She used to have a mental health problem and then improved and became rather rich.  Who would have thought it possible? 

So I throw the idea out into the sea of possibilities.  Like a note in a bottle perhaps someone will read this and respond or maybe create a similar retreat.  Or write to me and we will brainstorm a bit more.  Miracles happen everyday!

Jesus Take the Wheel and Lets Put the Top Down

I am asking my Higher Self to take the wheel today.  (Jesus is being called by me)

There seem to be things I feel anxious about but I can’t quite determine what they are.  It is better to know what I am fearful of.  Unfounded fear is the absolute worst thing.  Fear puts us in a small and uncreative box.  Ester Hicks advises getting out of that place with some focus and determination. Could it be that whatever it is that is bothering me really does need to be looked into but, it is far too scary for that? I have that hiding my head in the sand feeling today.  If I look at this from another less handicapping perspective it might help.  Whatever this is, I will remove myself from it and pretend I am observing it.  If I can imagine myself in a play, well, I become the actor, play write, and audience.  That is a slightly more empowering position than feeling like I have no control and I am just stuck in the circumstances of my life today.  I don’t want that.  My ideal would be to take a joy ride in a fun sports car with the top down and see what adventure lies ahead.  What kind of play did I write?  Is it an adventure? Comedy? Tragedy?  This fear is bigger than that and I know it.  This fear seems to be about those in control of the economy, and they would be the Federal Reserve People.  That is part of this.  I remember when Jesus flipped the coin back a man asking about Caesar and whose head was on the coin. He said to give to Caesar that which is Caesars.  Perhaps in the future there will be services and goods that are bartered and/or have a token economy.  Money has an ability to be manipulated sometimes. That can happen now.  Then there is my health that scares me sometimes. I don’t have medical insurance.  I hope to get some soon.  Many times in my life, doctors have not had the answer to my health issues.  I asked for healing and was healed from a Higher Power.  Maybe I can give back to doctors that which is theirs?  Maybe I can say “physician Heal thyself”?   Jesus mentions he is not the original author of this famous quote (Luke 4:23–30), but its power remains the same.  We are always paying experts to fix us.  Sometimes it is best to observe the life of people we would pay.  I still want health insurance, never the less.  Last night I was listening to Steven Quail regarding predictions about the end times.  One thing to remember about 2012 is we do survive it.  Predictions are only probable realities.  My guides say “fear not” but that does not seem to be working today.  I think those end time Vatican “last Pope” prophesies do rather unearth me at some core level.  Must I be drug into the reality of others?  Even on 9/11 many people chose not to go to work that day and some were unavoidably late to work for various reasons.  Interesting isn’t it?  Although a horrible event happened, some people chose not to play along.  Choice is always made but sometimes it is at an unconscious level.  Things just seem to pop up in our way making us miss the train or the airplane.  Later we can see why.  The other day, I could not get out of the house.  It was like no matter what I would do I could not leave.  There was a knock on the door and a package arrived.  It was important and I was glad my leaving was somewhat delayed. 

Even though there are plenty of earth changes predicted and there are some powerful players in control, maybe I need not be part of it?  It reminds me of the sex drive of youth.  There is the hunger and there is the human need for procreation but we learn to control this.  I think of those in control of being rather like vampires in need of blood. They just don’t know how to get those needs met in a more humane way.  Change is tough sometimes.  One thing I agree with Steven Quail and Alex Collier about is this:  We have been kept in the dark like mushrooms.  The vampires we speak of are not even human…although some might appear to be.  They have dark agendas and run our planet by dangling money and power in front of other humans who have lost their soul and their way.  They will and do disenfranchise anyone who should get in their way.  Character assassination seems to work well.   Framing someone and then crucifying them seems to scare us too.  Well, sometimes that back fires on them.  Our stay here is short and I don’t want my personal play to be filled with Paper Dragons and fear.  I want to drive my convertible today with the top down and enjoy the ride with Jesus.