Thursday, October 18, 2012

ASMR: My Early Memories



My Mental State is Tingling

(a wealth of pumpkins)

I am listening to ASMR tapes and relaxing.   ASMR is an acronym for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. The ASMR-Research dot Org site offers the definition: The pleasurable response felt by a tingling that begins in the head and scalp, and often moves down the spine and through the limbs. I remember experiencing this nice sensation when my Great Aunt Elsie would visit my Grandmother. There are perhaps too many ways (if that is possible) that she showed kindness towards me as a small child.  I loved her.  She would stroke my hair or brush it when she visited and I would have goose bumps up and down my back.  It was a nice feeling.  She would French Braid my hair and I could not wait to go to second grade with my hair like that.  She let me drink coffee.  I am sure it was mostly cream.  She taught me how to do needle point and other crafts during her stays.  During most of her adult life she was a beautician and owned her own shop in Eastland, Texas.  She and her husband were childless and I found that rather sad.  She devoted her love and time to all the nieces and nephews in her life and we were blessed that she was devoted to us.  There were always cards with money in them for our birthdays and she was there when we graduated from High School and other life events.  The thing I remember about her was her calm and healing nature and the ASMR experience she seemed to evoke within me.  Some people have a gift of healing and I always appreciate those gentle people.  When Jesus speaks of the meek inheriting the earth, I think of those who are full of inner calmness like my G-aunt Elsie, and they deserve the earth. Those lovely creatures are such a nice contrast to the angry hostile people who we sometimes run into.  There was another experience of ASMR as an adult.  A young female was selling personal care products door to door.  I allowed her to come in and she remained in my living room showing me her product line for about an hour.  I remember offering her tea and cookies.  I wanted her to stay because she was triggering so many pleasure responses for me. Her voice and the gentle way she demonstrated her products was a pleasure fest.  I was a little embarrassed later when I thought about it.  Did she know the effect she had on me?  I was enchanted and wondered if there was something about feeling that way that was "wrong" somehow?  In some ways it seems like a guilty sexual pleasure.  I don't think it is exactly sexual.  I would not compare the nice sensation of my aunt brushing my hair or getting a shoulder massage to sexual attraction anyway.  It might be a close cousin in some ways. It is almost better than sex as far as the healing and relaxed feeling that it allows.  

How lucky we are for You Tube.  By accident I found some people who make ASMR videos and post them for free.  These people create that relaxing mood and share it.  They are almost as good as my aunt at evoking brain tingles too.  It is wonderful that there is relaxation available that is non medical and no one even need touch you.   There are certain types of voices and certain sounds that also trigger the tingles for me.  The binaural  recordings of paper and opening jars and other sounds seem to trigger me.  I also responded well to Maria, Gentle Whispers, role play of a customer service person showing medical products.

There are many types of abundance and some of them create wealth and wholeness without spending physical money. My inexpensive spa day starts with brushing my skin before a shower, lighting a scented candle, doing some yoga deep breathing and stretching, wondering what nice thing I can do for someone else today, writing a small piece for this blog while drinking a cup of coffee with lots of cream in it.  Then I can do those “chores” that need to be done and come back home to watch an ASMR video to detox from the world outside.  I have been a procrastinator in my life and this type of virtual spa world helps me face the things I really don’t like doing.  I try to think through the experience prior to actually going and doing something.  Sometimes I am afraid to check my bank account.  It sounds silly but I am always shocked and depressed when it gets low.  It is like cold water in my face.  I tell myself I have another “real” bank account out there.  God’s bank account and that one is always full with no overdraft protection needed.  That is oddly reassuring and I followed that idea up with a fun exercise from the book “Ask and It is Given” by Ester Hicks.  I have an extra check registry and some blank checks that are not coded for an account.  She says to deposit 1000 dollars in that account and virtually spend it every day.  That means I can go window shopping and look inside expensive restaurants and decide how to spend this play money.  It gets me out of the poverty state of consciousness.  Everyday there is going to be a deposit from God and the Universe and everyday all I have to do is enjoy that money and spend it.  If I don’t spend it all then it clogs up the flow of this virtual money.  Money is another thing that makes me tingle and replacing old clothes and shoes is a way I like to enjoy it.  Paying someone to do a shoulder massage and brush my hair would be nice money shedding as well.  I must shed that money.  See how that prevents that scary closed fist feeling?  For me it is part of my virtual well being.  

The devil lurks in the form of fear and a scary Halloween Mask

 When I get deep into my well being and flow with this nice relaxed state of being it seems my ego wants to jump in with worry.  I used to be an expert at worry.  I must do an assignment today; that is true. There are children going hungry and that is a sad and anxiety producing thought.  There are many not good thoughts that can lower the energy I am sporting.  My advice is get proactive so you don’t feel guilt and sadness.  If there is a local charity then devote some time and money to being involved.  There are many wonderful causes.  I try to not overload myself on causes. One or two is enough and then it is a more quality experience in the practicing.  I am not here to dish out advice, but all I am saying is that seems to work for me.  I cannot improve the life of one child by being depressed and upset about it:  On the other hand I can make a positive move by giving part of my real and imagined resources to help a child. 
In parting, I will be glad for the presidential election to be over.  Every day get emails asking me for more money to support this campaign.  Enough!  That is causing a frown-y face.  I need to do extra Yoga breaths now and find a nice video on You Tube. My well being is paramount to living the live I desire. 

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